Manchester United thread
- Thread starter Nani121
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Ole Gunnar Solskjaer walks into a bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"
Solskjaer:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Manager of Manchester United”.
Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Solskjaer: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Solskjaer but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Solskjaer,"Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."
Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque."
"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"
Solskjaer stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."
Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Solskjaer?”
Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"
Solskjaer:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Manager of Manchester United”.
Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Solskjaer: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Solskjaer but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Solskjaer,"Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."
Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque."
"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"
Solskjaer stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."
Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Solskjaer?”
Michael Carrick will now take charge of the team for forthcoming games, while the club looks to appoint an interim manager to the end of the season.
Club statement
Club statement
langland
Elite Member
I wonder how many Man U fans wished that they had stuck with David Moyes?
I sincerely believe that if they had then they would have won the title again by now.
They gave him less than one season in which Man U had one of the best away records in the league, surely it was only a matter of time before he got the home results right.
Jose got Man U into 2nd place and then got sacked the next season and Ole has done the same.
Anyhow on to the next nearly man.
I sincerely believe that if they had then they would have won the title again by now.
They gave him less than one season in which Man U had one of the best away records in the league, surely it was only a matter of time before he got the home results right.
Jose got Man U into 2nd place and then got sacked the next season and Ole has done the same.
Anyhow on to the next nearly man.
Moyes was never going to succeed after Fergie, he was on a hiding to nothing, and with him also trying to get rid of a lot of the older players, I think they revolted against him, and that didn't help either. Utd are in transition, and I believe they missed a trick in not getting Conte, proven winner in the PL/Seria A, knows how to handle big players, immediate respect from players.
People are talking about Zidane, but he doesn't speak english, and he wants the France job. Deschamps may be a better option, but they'd have to wait until he leaves next year. Utd as a team, and their fans needs to accept that they're no longer a super power club, with massive appeal and attraction, the reason players go there now is because of the wages they offer.
Looks as if they're eyeing up Poch.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/59372826
Good manager, but I'm not sure he's got the cojones to deal with all the over-inflated egos at Old Trafford. Conte could have done it, but too late now.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/59372826
Good manager, but I'm not sure he's got the cojones to deal with all the over-inflated egos at Old Trafford. Conte could have done it, but too late now.
Whoever they get will not last long with these over payed spoilt brat players turning against them. It's a case of same tools but different tradesmen. Until they ditch the deadwood there will be no change. The Ronaldo trick has backfired he has not improved the team what so ever, he has caused more friction in the camp if anything.
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I spotted something that made me think this guys too in with the players and they just don't care.
Against Watford Maguire makes a total hash of trying to turn a player when he could have played the simple pass and by doing so he gets the ball robbed so he has a stupid pop back and hacks at the guy which inturn gets him a 2nd yellow. Now this is a straight forward Harry Maguire fcuk up there's no question about that. So when he's walking off basically costing Olie his job the manager gives him a low "well done m8" five.
Now this wasn't a Maguire goal saving tackle that stopped a Watford player from scoring, this was Maguire trying to rectify a basic fundamental defending mistake that was easily avoided by not been a smart arse near your own box.
Any top manager past or present would see this as an unnecessary mistake and a sending off that didn't need to be and would have blanked him walking off so he would then faces the hair dryer treatment after the game but Olie been the do-gooder low fives him as if to say "unlucky m8" go and get a shower and something to eat like a good boy.
Once any player or come to think of it any employee start to suss a weakness in their boss or spot a soft side to his nature certain people will abuse it and do as they please. And as for Bruno Fernandez been a world class midfielder ? if he was and bossed it Utd would be in the top 4 and Olie would be in charge this morning.
Pogba is poison, Maguire is sh*t, Fernandez over rated so for Utd to move forward I would say at least 10 players need to go and Ronaldo been one of them. I nearly wet my skids laughing when I heard Zidane been mentioned. Non of them would last 5 minutes with him or much the case he wouldn't last like Mourinho.
Against Watford Maguire makes a total hash of trying to turn a player when he could have played the simple pass and by doing so he gets the ball robbed so he has a stupid pop back and hacks at the guy which inturn gets him a 2nd yellow. Now this is a straight forward Harry Maguire fcuk up there's no question about that. So when he's walking off basically costing Olie his job the manager gives him a low "well done m8" five.
Now this wasn't a Maguire goal saving tackle that stopped a Watford player from scoring, this was Maguire trying to rectify a basic fundamental defending mistake that was easily avoided by not been a smart arse near your own box.
Any top manager past or present would see this as an unnecessary mistake and a sending off that didn't need to be and would have blanked him walking off so he would then faces the hair dryer treatment after the game but Olie been the do-gooder low fives him as if to say "unlucky m8" go and get a shower and something to eat like a good boy.
Once any player or come to think of it any employee start to suss a weakness in their boss or spot a soft side to his nature certain people will abuse it and do as they please. And as for Bruno Fernandez been a world class midfielder ? if he was and bossed it Utd would be in the top 4 and Olie would be in charge this morning.
Pogba is poison, Maguire is sh*t, Fernandez over rated so for Utd to move forward I would say at least 10 players need to go and Ronaldo been one of them. I nearly wet my skids laughing when I heard Zidane been mentioned. Non of them would last 5 minutes with him or much the case he wouldn't last like Mourinho.
The genius Ferguson was and achieved will be difficult to replicate imho. I definitely think Zidane could turn it around but as mentioned he is after the France job…
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Zidane could possibly turn it around but certainly not with that bunch of players. Utd have fell into the trap of overpaying for average players and more concerning, pish poor average players.
I've lost count how many £50 million+ they've bought in recent years. Players that at other clubs would possibly be bought for half of that.
Too many clubs have moved past Utd even Leicester and West Ham look far better organised sides.
Fernández pointing the blame at the players made me chuckle. His clearance in the Watford game reminded me of playing in Sunday Ami league half pished lashing anything that comes near then hearing:
GET RID!!!!!!!!
hilarious.
I've lost count how many £50 million+ they've bought in recent years. Players that at other clubs would possibly be bought for half of that.
Too many clubs have moved past Utd even Leicester and West Ham look far better organised sides.
Fernández pointing the blame at the players made me chuckle. His clearance in the Watford game reminded me of playing in Sunday Ami league half pished lashing anything that comes near then hearing:
GET RID!!!!!!!!
hilarious.
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Just heard SSP News, Utd might be looking for an interim manager ?. 10million euro's to get their man but their gonna wait.
Thats a classic
Zidane will end up at PSG hence why he's hinted he's not interested in the Utd job
Thats a classic
Zidane will end up at PSG hence why he's hinted he's not interested in the Utd job
BREAKING: Ralf Rangnick is close to finalising a deal to become Manchester United's interim manager until the end of the season. Discussions are ongoing with Rangnick and Lokomotiv MoscOw over releasing him from his role as manager of Sports and Development
Lego Old Trafford (bit pricey lol)
https://www.johnlewis.com/lego-crea...2eOzE0&irgwc=1&tmcampid=99&s_afcid=af_1259348
https://www.johnlewis.com/lego-crea...2eOzE0&irgwc=1&tmcampid=99&s_afcid=af_1259348
Buy 2 and get Harry Maguire free?
Or his wife. I've heard she's a proper slapper
langland
Elite Member
Poor old Ole
Only 40 million for doing a crap job for the last 3 years.
I am disappointed that he has gone however if Man U are going to improve they need to get rid of some of those waste of space players that they are paying the big bucks to.
I would get rid of Pogba (probably the biggest waste of money in Man Utds history) Martial and De Gea.
Only 40 million for doing a crap job for the last 3 years.
I am disappointed that he has gone however if Man U are going to improve they need to get rid of some of those waste of space players that they are paying the big bucks to.
I would get rid of Pogba (probably the biggest waste of money in Man Utds history) Martial and De Gea.
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