First time dad looking for advice

[dbspider]

Well found out 6 weks ago that the wife is pregnat and now the shock has gone (was told 8 yrs ago after chicken poks that count was very very low and would be a 1 in 8000 chance of conceiving) getting excited.

Now this is my first but the wife has had 2 befor in her last marrage so she keeps telling me that its ok. But me being the person i am i worry about her and the baba so i am trying to sort everything out

Now looking at ways to help the wife with every stage over the last 6 weeks she has had to do next to nowt which she thinks is great and i dont mind doing. But i am looking at things to get so wonder if any of you have had personal experiance either for you or the other half

TENS machine for pregnancy and labour
Maternity pillows which wrap around the full body


Also looking for advice from people who have been in the same situation i have no male family to talk to about it all

 

[ManofScience]

she's been thru it before? then don't worry, she'll know the score.

just be prepared to feel completely usless at the birth as there's nowt much u can do but support her, talk to her, reassure her.

Also, don't stress. It's the most natural thing in the world and more importantly - it's not as hard as everyone makes out.

Congrats and enjoy it.

 

[P33 RRV]

aye mines is preggers 1st time the now, we did try a while back but then gave up so shes at week 19 the now

i would say leave them to it as above when women want something they will usually shout at you for it but you can feel mighty useless throughout the whole thing :-(

 

[dbspider]

thanks lads but thats what i am stressing about feeling that there is no way i can help her and her knowing the score well thats another thing that gets me going as its my first but there is none of the new experience feelings there

this is why i am looking into these things prob to try and make me feel useful and on the view if i can help in anyway thenh that will make me less stressed

 

[BIG-HOL]

why not ask her what she wants you to do, rather then trying to fuss about her and probably getting on her nerves half the time, shes had 2 kids so yeah she knows what to expect, like the others have said just be there for her and help her where you can, im a 1st time father of a baby boy of 6 weeks old, and my partner also had 2 kids from a previous relationship, so i was in the same boat as you, just enjoy it mate the whole thing is a great experience and once your babys here its an immense feeling you get inside seeing your baby for the 1st time, its doesnt seem real at 1st. honest mate just try and relax a little and try and enjoy the whole build up to the labour, its a magical experience!

 

[dbspider]

why not ask her what she wants you to do, rather then trying to fuss about her and probably getting on her nerves half the time, shes had 2 kids so yeah she knows what to expect, like the others have said just be there for her and help her where you can, im a 1st time father of a baby boy of 6 weeks old, and my partner also had 2 kids from a previous relationship, so i was in the same boat as you, just enjoy it mate the whole thing is a great experience and once your babys here its an immense feeling you get inside seeing your baby for the 1st time, its doesnt seem real at 1st. honest mate just try and relax a little and try and enjoy the whole build up to the labour, its a magical experience!

Thanks mate its cool to here from someone who has went through the exact same thing did you as a first time dad go through any of these thoughts when you first found out ?

 

[m4rkone]

I wouldn't worry too much mate what ever will be will be. I was exactly the same 9 years ago when my missus was pregnant with my first child we tried to do everything by the book we are both healthy non smokers living healthy life styles but it still didn't stop our son being born 2 months premature which caused him to have cerabal palsy. We are now expecting our second child i found out 3 weeks ago that she is pregnant and i'm over the moon although after our previous experience i do worry a little hoping that i don't have to go through it again. So i guess what i'm trying to say is just carry on life as normal, obviously dont let your missus do anything too strenuous i.e lifting/moving heavy stuff and if you smoke do try to stop, just enjoy preparing for the arrival of your little un & then spoil him/her rotten.
Good luck mate i hope all goes well for you.

 

[BIG-HOL]

Thanks mate its cool to here from someone who has went through the exact same thing did you as a first time dad go through any of these thoughts when you first found out ?

to be honest mate i was shitting bricks, always said throughout me growing up i didnt want any kids, and up until the point we found out and a couple of months into the pregnancy i still didnt want a baby, but as time passed i found myself getting excited about the fact of being a dad, and now my little sons here i couldnt ask for more, hes perfect, theres not alot you can do before the babies here just get the basic stuff in like food nappys baby wipes baby milk, clothes, moses basket, try and stock up on nappies because they go through them very quickly and there not exactly cheap so stock up before he/she is here, we were lucky enough to have a spare bedroom in our house too so we got that all decorated and hes spent the last 2 nights in his crib, feels weird not having him in our room but the earlier he goes in there and gets used to it the better. once again all you can do is physically prepare yourself, because the emotions i have now for my baby are something iv never experienced up until that point, and its a bloody good feeling!

 

[emarald]

was told 8 yrs ago after chicken poks that count was very very low and would be a 1 in 8000 chance of conceiving

Your excited you should be suspicious
lol :Jester: No worries she's had two before this one will pop out like a cork

 

[sargie]

Ive had 4 and didn't feel a thing!

Seriously there not much for the fella to do, my wife had an epidural the first time and never had one again and just had gas and air and pethadin.

Just be there for support, your missus will make all the descions just like mine did. I loved getting all the baby outfits etc. It's wicked m8 and the birth is a surreal magical experience.

 

[HappyH]

If I was you mate I'd just be getting all the kip I could before the baby arrives. If your lass has 2 previously she'll be making sure you're taking care of night duties :banana:
Enjoy it mate & Good luck.
HH.

 

[chrispeters]

Your excited you should be suspicious
lol :Jester: No worries she's had two before this one will pop out like a cork

pmsl...trust u to come out with what a lot was prolly thinkin !!
hahaha u never disappoint !

 

[dbspider]

thanks folks i suppose im just really really over protective of her cant think how im going to cope with it all this is why im trying to make myself usefrull

 

[oneman]

Two time dad here, first is exciting and scary as hell, maybe more scary to begin with as you are not only worried about mom and the baby but the thousand changes that will be happening to your lives.

If this is your mrs third, then let her take the lead else she will only moan about you getting the way. She'll moan anyway but its one less thing.

I know its dead simple to say but try and enjoy the time, the time from now to when the baby is born will FLY by. You think you have ages but it really really will go quick.

Once thing I would suggest is you are still super nerveous is NCT (google it). They are a national support group that runs courses for new parents. Don't know how suitable it will be for your mrs as she has done it all before but they really go through the most lowest level explaining everything. They have access to staff at local hospital so you know the ins and outs before birthing begins. I found it useful as they really encourage dads to be part of the process and you will meet other first time dads then realise you all worrying about the same stuff that in hindsight was silly to worry about.

What I do find funny now is that people worry so much about pregnancy (not saying its not a worrying time) but the real fun and games are when the baby is born and there are not many places that prepare you for that.