*** Top Tips Section ***

[buckthehero]

heavy smokers...dont throw away all those butts...after a few years you will be able to insulate the loft

 

[buckthehero]

create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin in a bowl of iron filings

 

[buckthehero]

avoid drink driving by putting your beer in an ice maker then eating it

 

[buckthehero]

a hedgehog trained to go up and down the table when guests are round makes an ideal cheese and pineapple dispenser

 

[Gandalf2k]

lol, buck. Where do you get 'em

 

[Spectre]

They are just things he does lmao. :Laugh: :Laugh: :Biggrin2:

 

[buckthehero]

im not even drinking at the moment.....wait till i start thinking them up after a few bottles of j.d.

if u want more let me know

 

[wasnotwasD]

Keep em coming:Jester:

 

[chris1975]

keep them coming m8

 

[meckie]

how about a cigarette lighter that don't light for non smokers.

 

[buckthehero]

thats not funny

the next are for chris

give your hamster the winter feeling by replacing sawdust with talk powder and replacing their straw home with an igloo made of iceblocks.

just in case this not enough for your hamster you could then put it in a cold bath and put the fan on full blast next to it !!!!

 

[buckthehero]

get youre girlfirend/wife to suck on a sterident tablet whilst giving you a blow job. not only will it give her a dazling smile but would also give a newly polished shine to your bell end.

 

[buckthehero]

wheelie bins left at the gate make ideal shopping trolleys for burgulars.

 

[buckthehero]

a wire brush placed upside down makes an ideal bed of nails for a hamster !!!

 

[buckthehero]

townies..whenevere you see country folk ( like damage ) driving thru town in their green landrovers. jump in their way shouting ' get orf my laaaand' then shoot their dog.

that can be changed to

jump in their way shouting ' eeer sefton....do it like the rabbits do it' then whip out youre video camera whilst the son shags the daughter.

 

[buckthehero]

dont throw away the wire off that champagne bottle...put it round the head of the familys tortoise and it makes great protective 'bull bars' for them.

 

[buckthehero]

ok...so i havent dona any in a few days...but i fell off the wagon and got totally hammered with a few friends. but when pi55ed thought of some corkers.

plant a cotton bud upright in the sand of your goldfish bowl to enable your goldfish to wipe its ar5e

 

[buckthehero]

experience the thrills of motorcycling in the summer by sitting in front of a hair dryer and letting your mates fire bees and flies into your face with spud guns

 

[buckthehero]

make your own curry flavour pot noodle by snipping bits of string and elastic band into a plant pot full of diarrhoea

 

[buckthehero]

hippies, dont waste money on expensive lava lamps. just position a torch under the nearest persons boll0cks and watch them float around