I have never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars
thing or why men think with their head and women with their heart.
For example...One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into
bed. Well, things started to heat up, but then she said "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT ??!! What was that ?!"
So she said the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day, I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
high-end department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take
so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's
get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know
how to play tennis.
But, I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She appeared to be almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear;
let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT ?"
I then said "Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial means as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I can buy you ?"
Apparently, I'm not having sex tonight either..
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars
thing or why men think with their head and women with their heart.
For example...One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into
bed. Well, things started to heat up, but then she said "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT ??!! What was that ?!"
So she said the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day, I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
high-end department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take
so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's
get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know
how to play tennis.
But, I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She appeared to be almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear;
let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT ?"
I then said "Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial means as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I can buy you ?"
Apparently, I'm not having sex tonight either..
