wasnotwasD
DW Regular
Once apon a time father christmas was sitting on his chair admiring his bulging sack when out of the blue he felt a little pain in his back he tried to straighten, but then noticed huggi holding a rather big sack full of crack,father christmas said to huggi"what the hell do u think you're doing"christmas will be in ruin unless we get biggles and his lancaster bomber to blow the bag of crack up, biggles said, what do we want to do with MH the dope then the spittys arrived and santas sleigh was just getting loaded up.
Biggles then dropped a 200 pounder on wonderland which turned into neverland, Micheal Jackson then said what a bummer, my mate allroad gave me these underpants, now there was a stain on the back, also he was wearing pink frilly underwired bras on loan from kms that matched, with underpants around he's ankles he launched into song singing "she'll be coming round in the hospital bed after being hit by a humongous object called fred the green cabbage that he got from wiz rooftop garden, just before it did a Duet with brusselsprout willy. Meanwhile Simon Cowel was fixing an other show that brusselsprout willy could win and get a large bag of garbage, that he could sell with del and rodney down the market where Christmas would come early then dutcho saw a beer floating in the sky and wondered how allroads stained underpants had ended up for sale on ebay bidding was slow because Dutcho and his gang sniffed a bargin which, turned out to be a g-string belonging too ianbbb who was shocked because a burglar must have accidently taken it with the green box of crap that Allroad saved from going down damages new pink toilet with push button flush Which Rabp had sold him on the cheap along with cheap packets of secondhand condoms which made a racket and was so loud it woke spectre who was sleeping off a big bottle of Maddog 20/20 which Huggi had used the night before to empty his bladder.
the next day santa asked biggles to borrow his pink garter that he got from damage while rabp's back was turned, meanwhile Rat, sniffin a bargin thought he saw wiz disappear behind the ladyboy underware Boutique where Damage was moddling the latest in see through scratch and sniff panties, fishnet stockings & high heels for digital world customers were also being paraded by allroads spanish villa wearing new sunbreros and boots and there maracas exposed . so all the ladyboys decided to gate crash christmas rave on beach. While at the party, MickieD was looking at the ann summers catalogue for a huge new battery opperated inflatable doll with usb connection and open ports which he, used for his giant and the beanstalk sexual fantasy involving Five gold rings, one albino donkey, and a very large Partridge inna pear tree.
Meanwhile Diamond took his rather old wrinkly willy and poked it towards one of Mickie's open ports, and said "I'm gonna show you how dynamic i can be which brought a huge smile to huggi's face as he hid in the closet watching as usual, the filthy plastic packamac jacket, stained by years of abuse by his mrs throwing hot oil, so bad were some of these stains that the sheep he used to shag in the field could smell him cuming all over the field.
As we approached Christmas you could tell it was getting colder as huggi's Be*l end was getting as red as rudolph's nose.
How many words said in jest, come into my sled and ride on my lap top, its a 14inch pric8ly pine christmas tree with Maryjam on the top right next to Rat, Zoo and DaveH the 3 wise men bearing gifts of Socks and frilley willy warmers that techbabe knitted while davidh tried them on watched by mairyhinge the shepherd with worried sheep that allroad was chasing around with his enormous pair of pink wellys which he got of ebay on the cheap.
The sheep at this time of the year follow the star to Damages house where Maryjam was baking a cake with green leafs and mushrooms which Allroad had also won on ebay with bid assistance from dutcho who was always alert to allroads ebay scams that always worked a treat.
Father Christmas meanwhile was servicing the reindeers his hands were very cold and sticky with juice from the reindeers plumbs, he liked the feel of the warm short hairs around them as it reminds him of the first time he'd ever touched Diamond's long lush blonde hair this pleased diamond alot then he whipped out his four stroke par score and handed his balls to the caddy who danced a jig of delight because they reminded him of Dutcho's meat pie's
Meanwhile Bronto was busy playing with father christmases miraculous sack which narabdela was carrying over his child bearing hips these were no ordinary sacks they were large ones so large in fact that, when they burst, Damage was in deep conversation with maryjam about Diamond's mate Bronto's guilty secret desire to probe some of Rudulf's inner Organ's which were very smooth just like IanBBB's rosey red cheeks which is partly the reason why his friends call the "James Whale" phone-in on huggi's mobile phone and discuss animal rights and free wellies for Taff to wear when he trod the grapes.
Tempers were flying and this is where Michell McManus & Diamond got together and he took her from behind the bushes where she was hiding from Pete Waterman because he wanted to have a good look at her massive furry sporren which she used, to keep her smelly vest cable box and her ramping rabbit out of the stew and into maryjams hospital next to biggles with his bad leg that strated rotting beacuse he hadn't washed it since it got lost up Mickie d's arse...nal tracky bottoms. which are now coverd by his insurance for seepage damage and storm damage also Damage damage but not huggi damage. Meanwhile, back at the the location (that's not behind the bushes) Santa's bulging sack burst through the back door of the blue lagoon where allroad was sitting playing with his tiny pet woodlouse called gavin, allroad was dressed in buzz lightyear jim jams, but his friend damage the Intelligent handsome one was seen naked in "News of The World" which is now smaller than his own publication "the wooly muffter news" Meanwhile, Bronto was trying on rats winter undies the one's with frilly lace stained with zooropas left over home hade soup' that had been smeared all over allroad's hairy arse, just then napster let out a sheep from his flock which had a huge dildo sticking out of its arse that maryjam had borrowed from one of her clients who had shaved her torrent torrent torrent into her hair on Huggie's request. maryjam got onto all fours allroad then had a large and very red telephone box (which was actually a port-a-loo) which santa and scoot the gay queen used for their regular punters who pay cash namelyD<>.Huggi.Mairy Hinge.David H and Tree Jumper aka Gazer the Mad Elf.
Twas Christmas Eve and Damage was being Wude emptying his Sack in readiness fer stuffing the Turkey up scoots colossal whilst Diamond was doing a bit of Voyerism with his Camcorder albite a cam copy of dutcho and tech babe opening their sex shop in santas new grotto too which Scoot was a big customer. His favourite toy was a fudge extractor device which goes like the clappers but didnt used to operate when Dutcho was taking tech babe up the starfish in the shower like he once told me sooo "oh feckk im so much in trouble with Ian the now mfaox1000000000. But seeing its Christmas We'll let is pass.
In the mean time Scoot was fornucating with himself over the fact that techbabe and Dutcho had opened a shop before him an was running the shower with the power off his bicycle which was a penny farthing that he once rode.
Twas the day after and a lot of sore heads were wondering how their annual supply of condoms were filled with lager.
Kingring Huggi and Japseye were still going through each other's Christmas stockings looking for huggi's Xmas turkey leftovers, when huggi got very excited by the rather large ring japseye possesed. "What an Ar*ehole!" said Scoot...I must have ago with my fudge extractor device
Just then a shrieking came down the hallway
Willy{Damage} Wonkas here you feckers !!!
save some of that extacting device fer meeee
Feck Off!!!! shouted Huggi or Ill put mi lighter undeneath yer Fleece lined underpants, wait...... "slap my arse and poke it with a banjo", what the FOOK is MR ANFIELD doing ontop of allroad ?????? tryna tell him that Sky has been cracked. Suddenly, out of the dark mist, appeared Treejumper with a Coy stuck outa the crack of his Arse, Diamond pointed and laughed as he shouted for Wiz , but Wiz had been knobled and sent to the Philopenis Islands for playing Scoot's Banjo string.Scoot used to wile away the hours having a Shower under a lovely Virgin bunch of Coconuts whilst the golden stream ran into his mouth."Wats dat perfume youve got on Tb shrieked Dutcho" COME TO ME " replied young TB ! Fook meee!!! it dont smell like Cum to me!!!! laffed Ian .where he spat it out and allroad slipped on it and hurt his back so maryjam had to get a big stick and rammed it up his big hairy arse hole and he yelled like a fecking girl who had broken her index finger after putting it up maryjams nose then maryjam got hold of pipehose's one eyed trouser snake thinking it was a maggot as she intended to go fishing for Scoot, who was giggling in the corner,as he,d took up the offer of Dutchos electrical jobs post and his first job was to wire up young Tbs shower, Dutcho crept in there BZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz an as everything Scoot puts his hand to it shorted and Dutcho was lying inn the water with a permanent hard on , stiff as board.
Scoot then crept off and lurked back in the corner of Maryjam's room waiting for Allroad to return with a box of creamcakes, he liked creamcakes, especially one's creamed by Allroad himself.Dooo!!! you need sum help shouted D<> chef exortodinaire of that fav tv prog "Cant Cum wont Cum" I am looking for someone to write a theme tune for my cookery program. Just like the one you do on little britain.
I could be so good for you.
I'm gonna help ya!
Love you like you want me to.
I'll do anything for you...oooh oooh ooh
I'll be so good for you :HitFook meee Dutcho shouted theyve just buried Yasser Arafat in the Newcastle strip , Apparently his last wishes where to be buried in the Gazza strip.
Scoot told D<> he wasnt interested in the theme tune jobby, and that he "felt like a goat". D<> asked him how long he'd felt like that? "ever since I was a kid" Scoot told him. " In fact I felt like a sheep aswelll" (which reminded him of the time IANBBB and Bronco kidnapped damages flock & they were taking them to scotland in the old lancaster, when the engines failed. IAN said "quick grab a parachute" Bronto said what about the sheep? "Aww man FỦKC the sheep". Bronco said do you think we have enough time?" , Ianbb quickly replied "so long as you havn't took any of Diamond's viagra.
Meanwhile back on the planet earth Diamond was combing his pubic hairs when he noticed he'd caught crabs then Rat popped out from between them and said anyone seen Zooropa with my fecking bargain book? Just seen him in Chesters Aldi's Christmas sale said TB, he was selecting some second hand condoms to protect his crabs while he had a shower with wizz. 91% off the price of a new one shreeked Zoo to Rat. Not much of a bargain
Biggles then dropped a 200 pounder on wonderland which turned into neverland, Micheal Jackson then said what a bummer, my mate allroad gave me these underpants, now there was a stain on the back, also he was wearing pink frilly underwired bras on loan from kms that matched, with underpants around he's ankles he launched into song singing "she'll be coming round in the hospital bed after being hit by a humongous object called fred the green cabbage that he got from wiz rooftop garden, just before it did a Duet with brusselsprout willy. Meanwhile Simon Cowel was fixing an other show that brusselsprout willy could win and get a large bag of garbage, that he could sell with del and rodney down the market where Christmas would come early then dutcho saw a beer floating in the sky and wondered how allroads stained underpants had ended up for sale on ebay bidding was slow because Dutcho and his gang sniffed a bargin which, turned out to be a g-string belonging too ianbbb who was shocked because a burglar must have accidently taken it with the green box of crap that Allroad saved from going down damages new pink toilet with push button flush Which Rabp had sold him on the cheap along with cheap packets of secondhand condoms which made a racket and was so loud it woke spectre who was sleeping off a big bottle of Maddog 20/20 which Huggi had used the night before to empty his bladder.
the next day santa asked biggles to borrow his pink garter that he got from damage while rabp's back was turned, meanwhile Rat, sniffin a bargin thought he saw wiz disappear behind the ladyboy underware Boutique where Damage was moddling the latest in see through scratch and sniff panties, fishnet stockings & high heels for digital world customers were also being paraded by allroads spanish villa wearing new sunbreros and boots and there maracas exposed . so all the ladyboys decided to gate crash christmas rave on beach. While at the party, MickieD was looking at the ann summers catalogue for a huge new battery opperated inflatable doll with usb connection and open ports which he, used for his giant and the beanstalk sexual fantasy involving Five gold rings, one albino donkey, and a very large Partridge inna pear tree.
Meanwhile Diamond took his rather old wrinkly willy and poked it towards one of Mickie's open ports, and said "I'm gonna show you how dynamic i can be which brought a huge smile to huggi's face as he hid in the closet watching as usual, the filthy plastic packamac jacket, stained by years of abuse by his mrs throwing hot oil, so bad were some of these stains that the sheep he used to shag in the field could smell him cuming all over the field.
As we approached Christmas you could tell it was getting colder as huggi's Be*l end was getting as red as rudolph's nose.
How many words said in jest, come into my sled and ride on my lap top, its a 14inch pric8ly pine christmas tree with Maryjam on the top right next to Rat, Zoo and DaveH the 3 wise men bearing gifts of Socks and frilley willy warmers that techbabe knitted while davidh tried them on watched by mairyhinge the shepherd with worried sheep that allroad was chasing around with his enormous pair of pink wellys which he got of ebay on the cheap.
The sheep at this time of the year follow the star to Damages house where Maryjam was baking a cake with green leafs and mushrooms which Allroad had also won on ebay with bid assistance from dutcho who was always alert to allroads ebay scams that always worked a treat.
Father Christmas meanwhile was servicing the reindeers his hands were very cold and sticky with juice from the reindeers plumbs, he liked the feel of the warm short hairs around them as it reminds him of the first time he'd ever touched Diamond's long lush blonde hair this pleased diamond alot then he whipped out his four stroke par score and handed his balls to the caddy who danced a jig of delight because they reminded him of Dutcho's meat pie's
Meanwhile Bronto was busy playing with father christmases miraculous sack which narabdela was carrying over his child bearing hips these were no ordinary sacks they were large ones so large in fact that, when they burst, Damage was in deep conversation with maryjam about Diamond's mate Bronto's guilty secret desire to probe some of Rudulf's inner Organ's which were very smooth just like IanBBB's rosey red cheeks which is partly the reason why his friends call the "James Whale" phone-in on huggi's mobile phone and discuss animal rights and free wellies for Taff to wear when he trod the grapes.
Tempers were flying and this is where Michell McManus & Diamond got together and he took her from behind the bushes where she was hiding from Pete Waterman because he wanted to have a good look at her massive furry sporren which she used, to keep her smelly vest cable box and her ramping rabbit out of the stew and into maryjams hospital next to biggles with his bad leg that strated rotting beacuse he hadn't washed it since it got lost up Mickie d's arse...nal tracky bottoms. which are now coverd by his insurance for seepage damage and storm damage also Damage damage but not huggi damage. Meanwhile, back at the the location (that's not behind the bushes) Santa's bulging sack burst through the back door of the blue lagoon where allroad was sitting playing with his tiny pet woodlouse called gavin, allroad was dressed in buzz lightyear jim jams, but his friend damage the Intelligent handsome one was seen naked in "News of The World" which is now smaller than his own publication "the wooly muffter news" Meanwhile, Bronto was trying on rats winter undies the one's with frilly lace stained with zooropas left over home hade soup' that had been smeared all over allroad's hairy arse, just then napster let out a sheep from his flock which had a huge dildo sticking out of its arse that maryjam had borrowed from one of her clients who had shaved her torrent torrent torrent into her hair on Huggie's request. maryjam got onto all fours allroad then had a large and very red telephone box (which was actually a port-a-loo) which santa and scoot the gay queen used for their regular punters who pay cash namelyD<>.Huggi.Mairy Hinge.David H and Tree Jumper aka Gazer the Mad Elf.
Twas Christmas Eve and Damage was being Wude emptying his Sack in readiness fer stuffing the Turkey up scoots colossal whilst Diamond was doing a bit of Voyerism with his Camcorder albite a cam copy of dutcho and tech babe opening their sex shop in santas new grotto too which Scoot was a big customer. His favourite toy was a fudge extractor device which goes like the clappers but didnt used to operate when Dutcho was taking tech babe up the starfish in the shower like he once told me sooo "oh feckk im so much in trouble with Ian the now mfaox1000000000. But seeing its Christmas We'll let is pass.
In the mean time Scoot was fornucating with himself over the fact that techbabe and Dutcho had opened a shop before him an was running the shower with the power off his bicycle which was a penny farthing that he once rode.
Twas the day after and a lot of sore heads were wondering how their annual supply of condoms were filled with lager.
Kingring Huggi and Japseye were still going through each other's Christmas stockings looking for huggi's Xmas turkey leftovers, when huggi got very excited by the rather large ring japseye possesed. "What an Ar*ehole!" said Scoot...I must have ago with my fudge extractor device
Just then a shrieking came down the hallway
Willy{Damage} Wonkas here you feckers !!!
save some of that extacting device fer meeee
Feck Off!!!! shouted Huggi or Ill put mi lighter undeneath yer Fleece lined underpants, wait...... "slap my arse and poke it with a banjo", what the FOOK is MR ANFIELD doing ontop of allroad ?????? tryna tell him that Sky has been cracked. Suddenly, out of the dark mist, appeared Treejumper with a Coy stuck outa the crack of his Arse, Diamond pointed and laughed as he shouted for Wiz , but Wiz had been knobled and sent to the Philopenis Islands for playing Scoot's Banjo string.Scoot used to wile away the hours having a Shower under a lovely Virgin bunch of Coconuts whilst the golden stream ran into his mouth."Wats dat perfume youve got on Tb shrieked Dutcho" COME TO ME " replied young TB ! Fook meee!!! it dont smell like Cum to me!!!! laffed Ian .where he spat it out and allroad slipped on it and hurt his back so maryjam had to get a big stick and rammed it up his big hairy arse hole and he yelled like a fecking girl who had broken her index finger after putting it up maryjams nose then maryjam got hold of pipehose's one eyed trouser snake thinking it was a maggot as she intended to go fishing for Scoot, who was giggling in the corner,as he,d took up the offer of Dutchos electrical jobs post and his first job was to wire up young Tbs shower, Dutcho crept in there BZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz an as everything Scoot puts his hand to it shorted and Dutcho was lying inn the water with a permanent hard on , stiff as board.
Scoot then crept off and lurked back in the corner of Maryjam's room waiting for Allroad to return with a box of creamcakes, he liked creamcakes, especially one's creamed by Allroad himself.Dooo!!! you need sum help shouted D<> chef exortodinaire of that fav tv prog "Cant Cum wont Cum" I am looking for someone to write a theme tune for my cookery program. Just like the one you do on little britain.
I could be so good for you.
I'm gonna help ya!
Love you like you want me to.
I'll do anything for you...oooh oooh ooh
I'll be so good for you :HitFook meee Dutcho shouted theyve just buried Yasser Arafat in the Newcastle strip , Apparently his last wishes where to be buried in the Gazza strip.
Scoot told D<> he wasnt interested in the theme tune jobby, and that he "felt like a goat". D<> asked him how long he'd felt like that? "ever since I was a kid" Scoot told him. " In fact I felt like a sheep aswelll" (which reminded him of the time IANBBB and Bronco kidnapped damages flock & they were taking them to scotland in the old lancaster, when the engines failed. IAN said "quick grab a parachute" Bronto said what about the sheep? "Aww man FỦKC the sheep". Bronco said do you think we have enough time?" , Ianbb quickly replied "so long as you havn't took any of Diamond's viagra.
Meanwhile back on the planet earth Diamond was combing his pubic hairs when he noticed he'd caught crabs then Rat popped out from between them and said anyone seen Zooropa with my fecking bargain book? Just seen him in Chesters Aldi's Christmas sale said TB, he was selecting some second hand condoms to protect his crabs while he had a shower with wizz. 91% off the price of a new one shreeked Zoo to Rat. Not much of a bargain
