Child custody battle first court appearance today

Just an update

Had cafcass report last week, wasn’t against me but he made errors saying I’m making allegations, how are they allegations when i and my solicitor sent the pages (gp/medical/police records) to back up my so called allegations. Obviously he took no notice and how I can be emotionally affecting my son? She stopped contact, he’s gone from seeing me every day for 4 years to 3 days a week for 8 months to nothing for 2 months then via a court 4 hours a week? All this because of her, hasn’t she effected his emotions, he’s cried a lot through this and the contact centre I pick him up from and drop him back see this, he doesn’t want to go back to his mums.

Court tomorrow to see how it turns out, personally i want this over and would except joint residency. My solicitor has told me he will use scare tactics on her by meeting with her solicitor explaining the evidence i got, her first telephone cafcass report and the one on one report stating i can back up the denial she made of my so called allegations. We will say where willing to go for a final court hearing and have her explain the lies that she made to cafcass and her solicitor and explain why she put my son in danger

He will also question the cafcass report with the officer who done it.

If she doesn’t I’m willing to except weekends and every 3rd weekend for her and a Wednesday after school or overnight with 50/50 school holidays. If she refuses that then i will continue my fight and (if i can get the money) take her to a final hearing.

Wish me luck tomorrow :eater:
 
Ah found ya! I remembered PM'ing someone about this but couldn't for the life of me remember your name mate. :( sorry to hear it's still going on. Mines all finished now..... it's easy for me to say this with what is now hindsight but try and stay in there and keep positive. It took over year and half for me mate but I ended up with sole resedency as it all backfired on her and there's fook all she can do about it!

The time it took the courts and all the mess ups, the dragging out of things, drove me mad at the time but I can look back now and be thankful how thorough they were as it gives her no room to appeal. What I couldn't get over at the time was the feeling of injustice towards me which overspilled onto the kids, but again with hindsight I can understand why they did this as it was solely about the kids in the long run, and not about me. If i'd had a baseball bat at the time I would've put her barrister in hospital for several months with all the shit they throw but it's all part of the game for them mate. Don't let them bait you.

If I remember rightly your boy was quite young and if it's any consolation a lot of the teachers kept reassuring me how resiliant youngn's are - they may go through it at the time but they soon bounce back.

Best of luck matey
 
Thanks guys

The only problem i have is she had another baby by another man and its usually a no no to separate them unless the child’s at risk which he has been several times in the past but like i said cafcass seem to ignore anything that’s given to them that backs my concern for the safety of my child. Her lies i hope will be shown :)
 
Final Court Hearing tomorrow and i know it can’t get any worse for me as the cafcass report says i should have him overnight and at present i only have him for a few hours on saturday but why am i so nervous. I know i won’t be able to sleep tonight and court is 9:30 tomorrow.

I have a barrister thank god but my ex on the other hand was denied legal aid for the final hearing due to her boyfriend working full time and what benefits she brings in.

Basically i did most of the preparation work myself, my solicitor just made a first statement of applicant (8 pages) which included all my concerns/her family matters/drugs/drink/self-harm/mental health/new bf etc. and added my evidence with msn logs, transcript audio to text recordings, text messages, gp records and police records, relevant slip ups her solicitor made.

The bundle he done consisted of 4 sections
Section A is the Applications and Orders (c100 & C1A), notice of proceedings and order.
Section B is Statements and Reports CAFCASS safeguard & Section 7, mine and her Statements
Section C is Police Disclosure and Witness Statements
Section D is Misc. (GP records)

Can this be adjured to her not having any aid for the final hearing?

I just thought i would update this thread.

Thanks all for your help especially "don’t do it it"ll hurt's" as he has helped me with pm's all the way through this.
 
Got no clue about any of that stuff mate, but i wish ya all the best 2moro hope it all goes to plan for you!

sent from my samsung galaxy tab 8.9 using tapatalk
 
your welcome m80 any time
but here is the bit you might not wish to hear yes it can still be adjured but not because she has no legal aid ( that decision has no bearing on the case ) but it can still be adjured for other reasons
tbh and as i said via pm i would push for everything you can as there is no legal aid for family cases next year so what you get between now and then is all you will get unless you pay or you can prove she is in breech of a court order ( which is hard one tbh )
good luck m80 kind regards
 
If she is going there completely unrepresented then sit back and let your barrister do his magic mate. Stay calm no mater what, even if she does call for an adjournment. Let you barrister earn his money and if all the crap you've told me about before is fully documented with i's dotted and t's crossed then justice should prevail - the Cafcass report is still only a recommendation for the court to view but it's a very good notch on your belt, especially if they've voiced any concerns on the welfare checklist.

Nice and calm fella and make yourself look really concerned for your sons welfare but always open to resolving matters with the mother for the sake of the child (I know, suck it in). Get the 'W' under your belt and then start thinking of full residency ;)

All the best and we'll all be sending mental good will your way for ammo :goodluck:
 
Hi all just an update on how the court went.

I was greeted by my barrister. We got a private room in which we started going through my notes.

To be honest i didn’t really like her, she told me my ex did not get legal aid so she was representing herself. She started going through my notes and basically said a lot of this evidence the judges won’t take no notice, the only real evidence is his poor school attendance record, and the gp notes.

She told me all of the texts and my audio conversations would not help my case, even though i questioned on my exs denial all the way through this of self-harm and my son having to watch his mum in this condition, to both cafcass officers which she called me a liar and I made it up.

Basically she told me at the end of the day my son has no broken bones, heavy bruising no referrals to social services by the school/gp or police. She asked me do i want to continue and told the outcome would probably be every other weekend and some of the holidays. Or she goes to put in with the original agreement on Friday to Sunday etc. etc. Well because she could not directly talk to her she had to use the cafcass officer for it.

She came back with a Saturday morning to Sunday night and 50% of school holidays. She informed me i should take this. She got out some of her old cases and i saw how even though the dads done nothing wrong and put forward evidence like mine and worse, the panel gave 20% of time in a year to the father (every other weekend) and residency to the mother.

I asked so what if she does self-harm herself in front of my son again and my son tells me, she goes you need to inform the police this time not child services (they ignored me twice). And what about the bruising he had and told me the bf done it, she goes, confront her first about it then take him to the hospital if he continues to tell you the bf done it. So basically i got to wait until my son is battered before i can go for residency through neglect or harm.

My father came in for some support but in the end i had to drop the residency order and go for the Saturday to Sunday and half the holidays as well as negotiation between both of us regarding Christmas, new year etc. and if i want to take him abroad i got to give her 2 months notice. She also informed me when he is 9 or 10 and if he wants to live with me i could apply for residency again and they will look at what your son wants.

She won’t stop her behaviour its part of the way she has been brought up by her mum and aunty whilst her mum was in jail. the boyfriend before me got a high heel over his head whilst she was drunk. I know for a fact them two wont last, she didnt start this behavouir towards me and her mental illness until a year after my son was born. Lets just see how long until he cant put up with her violent behavouir.

if the agreement is broken with no valid reason we were told we could face prision, community service or a heavy fine.

The one thing that i have been told recently by my son is his brother had to go to hospital because a chair hit his head. Okay accidents happen but my son said mummy was drinking wine and shouting. Her mums a heavy drinker and her grandmother is an alcoholic.

From what my barrister told me and after the court my solicitor, I have done a lot better than most fathers who have to fight for years to get this and they usually get every other weekend. Still annoyed but I will be keeping a very close eye on his health and the way she is bringing him up. Theres nothing else I can do really.

Annoyed that a person like her who doesn’t care for my son, fobs him off whenever she can to her mum, excessive drinking and has recorded mental illness and self-harms herself, used my son to steal clothing, sells drugs and i can prove all of this is going to be the main carer of my son. His futures not looking good with that family :(
 
Last edited:
It's heart breaking to read your case mate and it sickens me that the country still sides with the mother despite hard evidence. As your son gets older he will start to make his own mind up about his good for nothing mother it's just gonna hurt until that day but it will come.
 
I'm sorry to hear you didn't get full residency mate, but weekends is a start and if she starts fooking you about then she's in breach of a court order and they'll throw the book at her.

Try and see it as a part win and work on it from there. Stay calm and document/record EVERYTHING. Take pictures of bruises if he turns up with them, write down in his own words what happend, and don't be scared to take him to the hospital if you think they're serious enough, as that'll be kept on record - but try to keep it balanced and not 'cry wolf'. If she's that bad and external parties start reporting things on the welfare checklist, then next time you go back (and you will go back), you'll have more recorded evidence and be that much closer to full resedency if the court still doesn't step in and do the decent thing there and then.

As your child gets older, depending on how he repsonds to questions from a Cafcas officer at around aged 8 or 9, if it's clear that you haven't coached him into saying something, and he can clearly recollect by himself any incidents or wishes to live with you, then the court should take that into consideration. Technically I think you've won the battle but not the war :) ..... stick with it mate, enjoy the extra time you will get with your boy and go about things the right way if shit goes down.
 
jamesyboyjim said:
It's heart breaking to read your case mate and it sickens me that the country still sides with the mother despite hard evidence. As your son gets older he will start to make his own mind up about his good for nothing mother it's just gonna hurt until that day but it will come.
Click to expand...

^^^ This. Sadly the courts are still stuck in the last century about childcare.

Jammo, don't try and make his mum as the bad guy. As your son gets older he will realise how messed up his mum by himself and there won't be anything she can do to stop him coming to live with you.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

silverdale
  • Question
BIOS/UEFI Dell Latitude 3520 admin password bios reset problem
Replies
14
Views
1K
leemoo
L
chookey
    • Like
    • Haha
Lidl
Replies
1
Views
326
spud1966
spud1966
silverdale
    • Like
Glastonbury Sunday
Replies
11
Views
446
D 8 RCS
D 8 RCS
chookey
Humidifier
Replies
11
Views
543
D 8 RCS
D 8 RCS
melttc
PayPal Credit
Replies
8
Views
466
melttc
melttc
Back
Top