Child custody battle first court appearance today

[jammoboss]

Well i don’t know if my first court appearance went well or bad?? The cafcass officer was 45 minutes late, me and the ex with the cafcass officer had arguments whilst i was trying to stay carm but she was denying things i had evidence on.
I feel let down a bit by the cafcass officer, she said all that matters is my sons wellbeing yet when I’m giving the evidence on my cafcass telephone interview she seemed to try and get of that subject. Well my ex also made a few errors with her saying she got caught shoplifting to the value of £800 and was given 100 hours community service which was actually 200 hours and she was lucky to get that the magistrates said. She also said that my son was not present even though she got caught with the clothes in his pram when he was there and the police took her with my (2 year old at the time) which I’m hoping should be on the police records. She did come back saying i was there and helping her but i know she was out with her cousin who has been arrested for shoplifting so many times.

Well she told the cafcass she stopped me seeing him because i was drilling stuff about her and her new bf into his head (total c**p), i explained the real reason. She accused me of saying things to my son when i went to visit him in his school like "you’re going to be living with daddy soon", "has mummy hit you", i knew she would do it so i recorded the 11 minutes from the point of entering the building to leaving. Yet her solicitor said contact ended on the 21 July after that incident even though i got a txt of her on the 10 June saying "you’re not seeing him no more, take me to court".

During the meeting she demanded i have supervised visits for an hour but the officer said i don’t see the need for that as no allegation on cruelty have been given and i should get 2 hours unsupervised visit in the community area of the family centre. Well my solicitor went to her solicitor for about 10 minutes to come back and say "she has agreed on 4 hours every Saturday, unsupervised, so i can take him out"

I’ve gone from being in my sons life 24/7 for four and a half years. Since the split its been then 3 days 2 nights and sometimes more if she decided to go to Westbury jail to see her now ex-boyfriend.

Do you think this is fair four hours a week for someone who has done nothing and the only accusation against me is saying i say stuff to my son, which i don’t. I know it’s only the first part and i was told the full report will be in 8-10 weeks, end of September but it’s so unfair on dads.

Oh and even though they applied for the police records on the 7th July they still never arrived in time.

 

[P33 RRV]

this is a horrible thing to read i mean for you a real person to be going through

about the only thing i could add is i am sorry that you and your kiddy has to go through this

 

[speedy1234]

Well i don’t know if my first court appearance went well or bad?? The cafcass officer was 45 minutes late, me and the ex with the cafcass officer had arguments whilst i was trying to stay carm but she was denying things i had evidence on.
I feel let down a bit by the cafcass officer, she said all that matters is my sons wellbeing yet when I’m giving the evidence on my cafcass telephone interview she seemed to try and get of that subject. Well my ex also made a few errors with her saying she got caught shoplifting to the value of £800 and was given 100 hours community service which was actually 200 hours and she was lucky to get that the magistrates said. She also said that my son was not present even though she got caught with the clothes in his pram when he was there and the police took her with my (2 year old at the time) which I’m hoping should be on the police records. She did come back saying i was there and helping her but i know she was out with her cousin who has been arrested for shoplifting so many times.

Well she told the cafcass she stopped me seeing him because i was drilling stuff about her and her new bf into his head (total c**p), i explained the real reason. She accused me of saying things to my son when i went to visit him in his school like "you’re going to be living with daddy soon", "has mummy hit you", i knew she would do it so i recorded the 11 minutes from the point of entering the building to leaving. Yet her solicitor said contact ended on the 21 July after that incident even though i got a txt of her on the 10 June saying "you’re not seeing him no more, take me to court".

During the meeting she demanded i have supervised visits for an hour but the officer said i don’t see the need for that as no allegation on cruelty have been given and i should get 2 hours unsupervised visit in the community area of the family centre. Well my solicitor went to her solicitor for about 10 minutes to come back and say "she has agreed on 4 hours every Saturday, unsupervised, so i can take him out"

I’ve gone from being in my sons life 24/7 for four and a half years. Since the split its been then 3 days 2 nights and sometimes more if she decided to go to Westbury jail to see her now ex-boyfriend.

Do you think this is fair four hours a week for someone who has done nothing and the only accusation against me is saying i say stuff to my son, which i don’t. I know it’s only the first part and i was told the full report will be in 8-10 weeks, end of September but it’s so unfair on dads.

Oh and even though they applied for the police records on the 7th July they still never arrived in time.

jam keep ur chin up mate .. for her solicitor to agree to even more hours .. ur solicitor has them on the back foot.. maybe she's doing it for a gold star ? just keep doing what ur doing m8.. and when you have the child make sure its fun filled with ur full attention kids speak the truth m8 they give up lting and cafcass can see this

 

[coolnow]

Don't give up mate, keep on fighting for your son, stay calm, make sure your solicitor knows what you want and make sure he'll go all the way for you, if not i suggest you drop them for someone who will fight for you 100% and not leave the battle halfway through.

 

[speedy1234]

Don't give up mate, keep on fighting for your son, stay calm, make sure your solicitor knows what you want and make sure he'll go all the way for you, if not i suggest you drop them for someone who will fight for you 100% and not leave the battle halfway through.

sounds good mate.. even thou i have my kids with me.. i try to give a bit of advice to m8s who find them selfs in the same place

 

[coolnow]

sounds good mate.. even thou i have my kids with me.. i try to give a bit of advice to m8s who find them selfs in the same place

Consider yourself lucky mate because it's all too common these days for the mother to be favored over the father even though she's worse off than him. Children need both their mother and father, if they have too little of one, then (entirely in my opinion) they'll lead a troubled life unless the little contact they had with their father/mother was worthwhile and full of advice etc. I know, there are some kids which can get through anything, they're very resilient. Glad you have your kids with you, i hope you understand it could've gone the opposite way, and your life would be completely different! Good luck to jammo again!

 

[Jooooles]

Good luck jamboss kid

 

[geoffthechef]

JUST be careful the resentment and bitterness does not take over your life and if you are paying solicitors get out of them courts as fast as you can as there is only one winner in there..(briefs) Much of the small stuff like he done this, you done this. is not healthy and really clouds the issue.good luck m8 and stay out of those expensive courts..

 

[melook]

just keep sensible and put her in a bad light.my ex used the kids as her special weapon but ive now got full custody of all 4 of them.keep positive.good luck

 

[jammoboss]

Update

I got this mediation wrong, the court put it forward and i assumed it was one on one about what the next stage it, i was wrong i was in a room with 2 other separated parents, all we went through was guides, videos of children and how it effects them, communication between me and the ex and how to resolve problems etc. i felt it was a complete waste of 4 hours of my life.

I had a call of my solicitors today I have a court date of the 20th September now but the four hour arrangement still has not been set. I did find out today that i got this wrong, cafcass won’t be doing a report as their hoping me and her will resolve this and the contact will be increased.

Her criminal record and mine and her medical records have been asked for, so what is happening next? Will cafcass still look at them and decide if a report needs to be done?

I don’t believe the way this is working with all my worries with her past, present and i believe future behaviour (drink, drugs, self-harm, stealing, bad family members) why are they not doing the right thing and looking into this further.

Very disappointed now, i might phone cafcass myself tomorrow and ask why a report is not considered straight away after all the stuff on my c1a form and evidence (although cafcass never got the criminal record in time for the first court date).

Thanks

 

[allaboveboard]

As I said before cafcass officers complete waste of space. They should not be allowed to have children, never mind be involved with other peoples. Join Families Need Fathers. They are not the superman costume publicity seeking ones. fNF will give you the best advice for your situation. Seek their help.

 

[jammoboss]

Hi all

I thought i would give an update. Second court appearance last week, there was no need for me to go into court but just a private room for me and my solicitor. Went through her hospital records but still no GP records which we need, we applied 3 months ago and still waiting.

Police record confirmed my story and showed her lying about my son being present when shoplifting but my solicitor made a mistake by only referring to that incident when asking for the records so we have to reapply for the rest. We are allowed to precede with a cafcass section 7 report now and we requested her boyfriends and her mums criminal records due to her mum being in jail and concern for my sons wellbeing with the new boyfriend.

I seen him for the first time on Saturday, the four hours flew by, i went back to the children’s centre waited with him, as the worker come over and said mums outside he wouldn’t let go of me and started getting upset, so hard to let him go back to her.

I’m just concerned because she has already tried to set me up with saying I said things when I saw my son in school (which I proved she was making it up) i got that feeling she will do it again.

 

[jamesyboyjim]

did you ever prove that it was to do with her that your emails kept getting hacked?

 

[jammoboss]

no mate but i had a text of t mobile saying i requested a large print braille past bills, i phoned them, informed them about my old email address being associated with my account and it was hacked, i was given the address the bills were requested to be sent. I went to take a look and it’s an unknown house to me, i did pop to the police and they said, it’s an old mans house who they last had contact with a call out in 2002 so they couldn’t do nothing as they gave me his initials for a hint and said he is a very old man.

Hotmail refused to help on the hacking of my accounts.

 

[jammoboss]

Just an update if anyone is interested, 3rd court appearance was cancelled because she went into labour. After my solicitor and myself contacting cafcass because i received a letter from cafcass stating 10-12 week wait for an officer to be assigned then 10 weeks for them to complete the report. I received a call the day after i phoned them saying they have now assigned an officer and will receive an appointment soon.

The next day (Friday) in the post i received a letter saying his name and he wanted to visit my home on Monday giving me 3 days to prepare. Weird how they have a back log of cases and stating 12 weeks delay, then as soon as a complaint and concerns are put forward an officer becomes available mmmm.

Well the meeting seemed okay, i went through my concerns went through their original telephone interview and gave him an envelope with evidence to help my case. He did ask me what do i want, of course as i am applying for residency, i told him, his reply was "what would the arrangement be for your ex to see your son" of course i said "i would never go to her level and stop contact". He then asked would you consider shared residency, i would not want my son not seeing his mum but personally i think she needs help (long story).

He informed me he is seeing her Tuesday (yesterday) and visiting my son in school today. The deadline for the report is 2nd February, still a long wait mind. Got court on the 13th December to talk about current contact and hopefully extending it and discussing Christmas arrangements.

 

[shaun127]

Good Luck Mate.

 

[m4rkyw]

hey jammo iv went throught a similar situation to yourself years ago my advice is dont say anything other than nice things to your kid about mum and dont give her any amunition to fire at you in court,, sounds easy but i know its hard, the most important thing to think about is the kid, dont lose sight of that however angry you get,, let her make the mistakes an fook her case up,, ano its not right mate, dont get angry mate get even an start using your head an play the game (i know its no game but hope you know wot i mean),, i have just recently started seeing my 24 year old lass after nearly 20 years, i went to court but fooked it up by trying to through crap an all the blame at her mum an lost to cut a very long story short,, take the shit on the chin an keep cool mate an leave her to **** up

 

[Jooooles]

"3rd court appearance was cancelled because she went into labour" Who was watching your son when she was in labour ? who,s the Dad to the new baby still her boy freind with the long record ?

Good luck m8 I reckon your in with a chance !!! keep ya chin up and battle on keep calm and collective dont ever argue with her in court are around the premises, judges like level headed people who are not argumentitive.

 

[jammoboss]

thanks m4rkyw, I dont give her any ammo all I say is nice things and try avoid her being brought into any conversation even if he does. I only have him 4 hours on a saturday at the moment so i keep him busy.

"3rd court appearance was cancelled because she went into labour" Who was watching your son when she was in labour ? who,s the Dad to the new baby still her boy freind with the long record ?

My solicitor questioned that, as her solicitor stated there were complications and she had to stay in hospital so they requested a short adjournment for her to recover. Only because my solicitor recommended i did not go down there and get him as it could cause trouble. He sent a letter stating "Our client queries why, if your client had to spend a number of days in hospital, his son was not placed in his care. Our client does of course have joint parental responsibility and his instructions are that he has been predominantly the primary carer historically". Of course they never replied and she is out now

 

[Jooooles]

Ah good luck m8 "she sounds like a Knacker to me" )