Am i being unreasonable?????

[MOAMB]

OK need someone elses opinion and what other people do.

I have twin daughters that are 13 years old and im having regular discussions with my one daughter about what is a reasonable time to go to bed in the week and on the weekend.

The reason this has become such a problem is i have put a parental control on both of their laptop so the internet (not the main computer) will shut down at 8pm Sunday till Thursday and 9pm Friday and Saturday. We are not saying they have to go to bed at this time im just taking control of how long they are on the internet. I have not blocked any sites or anything else I have just capped the time they are allowed on the internet.

They go to bed around 9.30 in the week but think they have the rite to stay up for as long as they want on the weekend.

Am i being unreasonable or a parent that cares about my kids and what they do??? Also what time do you send your kids to bed???

Thanks

Ray

 

[Bronto]

Not unreasonable m8, You are doing what YOU think is right for your children, that can't be wrong m8 well done

 

[chrispeters]

whatever u as a parent decides...is right imo..
unreasonable..hell no .
u know in 3 years time ..they will be running rings round u lol

 

[Rat]

I think its good to see restrictions in place

parents a far more relaxed these days (good in a way) but this is where discipline gets relaxed too

its getting a happy medium to be fair with out being harsh

you seems to have it in the balance id say

 

[janobi]

Seems reasonable to me mate. They are 13 after all. But sounds like they are trying to test the boundaries mate.

 

[fudgie]

We put ours to bed at 8.30-9 during the week and on weekends they can stay up on friday and Saturday, the latetest being 12. We have 3 kids 2 girls one boy, the youngest being 8 and the oldest 13.

As for pc time we don't allow computers in bedrooms and they only get to go on 2-3 times a week for leusure. For school work they have everyday access of course.

Computers must be monitored by parents at all times and we find it better to keep the kids in line of sight when using one. Plus it's not all about spying on them cos you really don't neeed to do that. Sometimes it's just nice to take an interest in what your kids are doing as you can help them.

So your being more resonble than us.

 

[Jackel]

My 14 year old son is in for 9 and in bed for 10 through the week, on a weekend it is 9.30 and 10.30-11 to bed, providing hes not grounded which he normally is.

 

[IANB]

Theres nothing wrong with a bit of rules and structure m8. Sounds like youve got the balance right. Too many parents just let their kids do what they want these days for the sake of what they think is an easy life. Trouble being it often comes back too bight them in the ass.

 

[Tamarc]

I think you are doing just what is needed mate,ive got four boys oldest 13yrs youngest 13months,the trouble i am having controlling the eldest is wearing me down,i tried limiting his internet access,but not being a whizz on the router scene i ended up messing all the pc's,after a week i found he was in control of my pc,anyway regarding bed times stick to what you have in place,they will push you to the limit,but stick to your guns,they might think you hate them at this time,but in the end they will thank you for it. 13 is still early in their development years,maybe just cut them some slack in the holiday period,good luck,im sure you will do them proud.

 

[jaffa]

I am with all the others who posted, I applaud you for doing what you believe is right and setting an agenda. They are young, they need to be taught so well done.

Wait for 5 years and when you think you can set net trafic, they will hack it, change the password and ban your ass from the net...lol

 

[manutd4life]

i dont have kids but in my opinion, i think different parents set different rules so if you feel its right, then you are only doing it in your best interest for your children. i used to be capped all the time, computers, staying out etc until i left school and started work then i was treated as a responsible adult. my parents seen me as, if i can go out and provide money for my self then i am a responsible adult!!

 

[adam]

i think you're doing the right thing but i would personally allow them to use the internet til 10.30-11ish at weekends because this is the sort of time i would expect there friends to be online. i beleive we dont really respect theyre social circles enough and its quite easy for a popular child who in every other respect (such as homework and manners) performs well, to become outcast just because the are not socialising on spacebook or whatever when their friends are. its important not to get confused with dicipline when you are actually dealling with young adults. remember that if they abuse the trust the privelegdes can always be taken away, but otherwise let them talk about boy bands or whatever crap teenage girls talk about with there friends til an hour that seems to offer a mutal respect.
good question tho
hope you can come to a suitable comprimise

 

[oneman]

Nice to see somebody actually taking responsibility seriously. Hear about to many kids with unrestricted access all hours of the night in their bedroom then wonder why they in trouble online.

 

[ekwat]

You are being perfectly reasonable and perfectly sensible. Teenagers will always want more and whatever you give them they will always want more because :-

1: It's not fair
2: Their friends parents allow them to stay online until whenever they want.

Stick with your guns. From my teenage years I remember that my friends who were allowed to get their own way are now mostly without jobs and with no morals and no real sense of anything in the real world. I wasn't allowed everything. I complained that it wasn't fair but my parents stuck to their guns. Now, I'm working and want to work. I respect my parents and am glad that I didn't get my own way. It prepared me for life and even though I wasn't the best child I'm doing my damnedest to make them know that I appreciate them and know that they knew best I ( even though I didn't know it or believe it at the time )

Plus, now I'm an adult I can do the things I wanted to then. I'm glad I had to wait.


/My kids are going to hate me but I'm sure as adults they will realise it was for their own good.

 

[manutd4life]

You are being perfectly reasonable and perfectly sensible. Teenagers will always want more and whatever you give them they will always want more because :-

1: It's not fair
2: Their friends parents allow them to stay online until whenever they want.

Stick with your guns. From my teenage years I remember that my friends who were allowed to get their own way are now mostly without jobs and with no morals and no real sense of anything in the real world. I wasn't allowed everything. I complained that it wasn't fair but my parents stuck to their guns. Now, I'm working and want to work. I respect my parents and am glad that I didn't get my own way. It prepared me for life and even though I wasn't the best child I'm doing my damnedest to make them know that I appreciate them and know that they knew best I ( even though I didn't know it or believe it at the time )

Plus, now I'm an adult I can do the things I wanted to then. I'm glad I had to wait.


/My kids are going to hate me but I'm sure as adults they will realise it was for their own good.

same here mate, i was to pi$$ed to type that much tho lol

 

[ellie1998]

You are being perfectly reasonable and perfectly sensible. Teenagers will always want more and whatever you give them they will always want more because :-

1: It's not fair
2: Their friends parents allow them to stay online until whenever they want.

Stick with your guns. From my teenage years I remember that my friends who were allowed to get their own way are now mostly without jobs and with no morals and no real sense of anything in the real world. I wasn't allowed everything. I complained that it wasn't fair but my parents stuck to their guns. Now, I'm working and want to work. I respect my parents and am glad that I didn't get my own way. It prepared me for life and even though I wasn't the best child I'm doing my damnedest to make them know that I appreciate them and know that they knew best I ( even though I didn't know it or believe it at the time )

Plus, now I'm an adult I can do the things I wanted to then. I'm glad I had to wait.


/My kids are going to hate me but I'm sure as adults they will realise it was for their own good.

Pretty much says everything

Teenagers will always want more if they can get it, it's the parents job to set boundarys so they realise that in life there are always boundarys.

 

[ekwat]

same here mate, i was to pi$$ed to type that much tho lol

I'm also too pissed it took quite a while to post that. But, now I'm an adult I'm allowed to be insanely drunk :Clap:

 

[dj999]

i've also got the same problem, my 2 girls are 10 and 13.

 

[oneman]

My son is 7 and some of his friends are on facebook and IM already. Don't their parents realise what they are up to ?

There is so much drama on their school e-mail already with kids talking about other kids, some have already got banned. Gods knows what they are going to be like when they are older.

 

[i-zombie]

good god,my mrs is a right strict cow when it comes to bed times and such

4 kids in this house,2 from her previous and 2 wi me,the 8 y.o is in bed no later than 8,12 y.o 8.30
nippers(1 and 3)7 and 7.30

i personaly think this is way too early and she wonders why they get up early

but are you buggery being unreasonable,our 12 y.o gets 1 maybe 2 hours thru the week net access and all day till bout 8 weekends-the 8 year old aint interested,occasionaly asks to go on disney website but thats it

christ if they think your unreasonable,ill send the mrs up with her rules ,see if they think your unreasonable after a week of her lol