[Note: This is part of the Village Tale series. They're a quirky take on life in general. It's a true story but I appreciate some people prefer straightforward and non-whimsical. You have been warned!]
So the chap in the next village asked me to do a little job for him. Turned out he was renovating a property his wife had inherited and one job was to refresh the kitchen. It was only a few sockets to move so I squeezed it in. As you do.
I can look back on it with a smile now – it wasn't so funny at the time!
Anyway, turning up at a strangely lop-sided place with great views of the surrounding countryside the first person I bump into is the plasterer. Affable chap, said he'd patch up all the holes I made moving the sockets. Liked him straight away! Once I'd ripped out all the DIY rubbish the previous owner had installed (installed might be stretching a point) there were fewer holes than expected so I left the plasterer to it.
As I left I heard the customer asking the plasterer to remove the stud wall making it a through kitchen/dining room. I almost turned back. Then I thought, no, keep your nose out, surely they will have? With that thought nagging away I headed off to the next job...
A couple of days later I was passing and thought I'd nip in and tidy up then send the guy a bill – the wholesaler having send me a snotty letter with red all over it. Always wait for that – extra week's credit!
Plasterer gone, walls looking good so I put the sockets on and was just about to leave when...
...the ceiling caught my eye. Now I can plaster, not particularly well but I usually manage a smooth finish – even on a ceiling – and I don't generally expect to find a 12' crack in a newly skimmed ceiling. I remembered I'd had a board up to move one of the sockets and the joists were standard 8”x2” running lengthwise through the dining/kitchen. I measured it. No way could a standard joist span this gap.
Back upstairs with the boards up and a big level. Hmm, floor's a bit springy, creaky too. Don't remember that...or the fact there's a 50mm gap between it and the skirting board! Oh crap! Plasterer took out a stud wall that was keeping the bedroom up in the air and now it's heading for the kitchen, big-style.
When you're crapping yourself it's amazing how quick you can get stuff organised and an hour later I have four planks and four acrows. The bedroom is jacked back into place and it's time to figure out what went wrong! It was a stud wall – I'd removed some electrics from it, WTF? Hang on, the external walls are stud too, huh? After clearing it with the customer it's 'mouse-hole' time – using a circular cutter I make some holes to find out what's going on.
It's a timber-framed house – you can tell when you open up what sounds like a stud wall (tap it and it sounds hollow) and find stressed timbers pinned together so where there would normally be one upright there's three timbers. Same for the horizontals (noggins). Extra structural strength can be provided by cladding with 18mm marine ply. I'm no timber-frame expert but I do know this, you can tell it's structural by removing a piece of skirting board and checking whether it sits on the floating floor or not. This one didn't, it was straight through to the concrete raft the house is built on. Bit of a give-away really. As usual, if you don't know what it does, meddle with caution!
Anyway, there was a happy ending.
The customer knew a builder with timber-frame experience who put in a supporting beam. I gained a whole load of 'brownie points' with the customer who asked for a recommendation to fit the new kitchen!
Me and Steve ended up fitting it. A half day exercise turned into a month's work by the time we'd laid the riven-slate floor but that's another story...
Anyone who is interested can view some build pics here.
So the chap in the next village asked me to do a little job for him. Turned out he was renovating a property his wife had inherited and one job was to refresh the kitchen. It was only a few sockets to move so I squeezed it in. As you do.
I can look back on it with a smile now – it wasn't so funny at the time!
Anyway, turning up at a strangely lop-sided place with great views of the surrounding countryside the first person I bump into is the plasterer. Affable chap, said he'd patch up all the holes I made moving the sockets. Liked him straight away! Once I'd ripped out all the DIY rubbish the previous owner had installed (installed might be stretching a point) there were fewer holes than expected so I left the plasterer to it.
As I left I heard the customer asking the plasterer to remove the stud wall making it a through kitchen/dining room. I almost turned back. Then I thought, no, keep your nose out, surely they will have? With that thought nagging away I headed off to the next job...
A couple of days later I was passing and thought I'd nip in and tidy up then send the guy a bill – the wholesaler having send me a snotty letter with red all over it. Always wait for that – extra week's credit!
Plasterer gone, walls looking good so I put the sockets on and was just about to leave when...
...the ceiling caught my eye. Now I can plaster, not particularly well but I usually manage a smooth finish – even on a ceiling – and I don't generally expect to find a 12' crack in a newly skimmed ceiling. I remembered I'd had a board up to move one of the sockets and the joists were standard 8”x2” running lengthwise through the dining/kitchen. I measured it. No way could a standard joist span this gap.
Back upstairs with the boards up and a big level. Hmm, floor's a bit springy, creaky too. Don't remember that...or the fact there's a 50mm gap between it and the skirting board! Oh crap! Plasterer took out a stud wall that was keeping the bedroom up in the air and now it's heading for the kitchen, big-style.
When you're crapping yourself it's amazing how quick you can get stuff organised and an hour later I have four planks and four acrows. The bedroom is jacked back into place and it's time to figure out what went wrong! It was a stud wall – I'd removed some electrics from it, WTF? Hang on, the external walls are stud too, huh? After clearing it with the customer it's 'mouse-hole' time – using a circular cutter I make some holes to find out what's going on.
It's a timber-framed house – you can tell when you open up what sounds like a stud wall (tap it and it sounds hollow) and find stressed timbers pinned together so where there would normally be one upright there's three timbers. Same for the horizontals (noggins). Extra structural strength can be provided by cladding with 18mm marine ply. I'm no timber-frame expert but I do know this, you can tell it's structural by removing a piece of skirting board and checking whether it sits on the floating floor or not. This one didn't, it was straight through to the concrete raft the house is built on. Bit of a give-away really. As usual, if you don't know what it does, meddle with caution!
Anyway, there was a happy ending.
The customer knew a builder with timber-frame experience who put in a supporting beam. I gained a whole load of 'brownie points' with the customer who asked for a recommendation to fit the new kitchen!
Me and Steve ended up fitting it. A half day exercise turned into a month's work by the time we'd laid the riven-slate floor but that's another story...
Anyone who is interested can view some build pics here.
