BRIAN1956
DW Joke King
I've got my first Gamblers Anonymous meeting tomorrow.
I rang them today to check the time.
It's at fookin ten to one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I nearly bought an origami belt the other day.
But then I realised it would just be a waist of paper.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've recently took up a rather unusual hobby.
I travel all over the country collecting blotting paper.
Everyone says I'm mad, but I find it very absorbing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every morning when I put my clothes on, I shout things like..
These fookin jeans are too tight!
All my bloody socks have got holes in them!
For fooks sake, where the hell did I put my jacket.
I'm beginning to worry that I'm a cross dresser.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I spent 14 hours designing a belt from old stopwatches.
Then realised it was just a waist of time...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What Men Really Mean.
Haven't I seen you before? = Nice ass
I'm a Romantic = I'm poor
I need you" = My hand is tired
I am different from all the other guys = I am not circumcised
I want a commitment = I'm sick of masturbation
You're the only girl I've ever cared about = You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me
I really want to get to know you better = So I can tell my friends about it
It's just orange juice, try it = 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head
She's kinda cute = I want to have sex with her till I am blue
I don't know if I like her = She won't sleep with me
I miss you so much = I am so horny that my male-roommate is starting to look good
Was it good for you? = I'm insecure about my manhood
How do I compare with all your other boyfriends? = Is my penis really that small
I had a wonderful time last night = Who the hell are you
Do you love me? = I've done something stupid and you might find out
Do you 'really' love me? = I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later
How much do you love me? = I've done something really stupid and someone's on his/her way to tell you about it now
I have something to tell you = Get tested
I'll give you a call = I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again
I've been thinking a lot = You're not as attractive as when I was drunk
I think we should just be friends = You're ugly
I've learned a lot from you = Next
I rang them today to check the time.
It's at fookin ten to one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I nearly bought an origami belt the other day.
But then I realised it would just be a waist of paper.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've recently took up a rather unusual hobby.
I travel all over the country collecting blotting paper.
Everyone says I'm mad, but I find it very absorbing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every morning when I put my clothes on, I shout things like..
These fookin jeans are too tight!
All my bloody socks have got holes in them!
For fooks sake, where the hell did I put my jacket.
I'm beginning to worry that I'm a cross dresser.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I spent 14 hours designing a belt from old stopwatches.
Then realised it was just a waist of time...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What Men Really Mean.
Haven't I seen you before? = Nice ass
I'm a Romantic = I'm poor
I need you" = My hand is tired
I am different from all the other guys = I am not circumcised
I want a commitment = I'm sick of masturbation
You're the only girl I've ever cared about = You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me
I really want to get to know you better = So I can tell my friends about it
It's just orange juice, try it = 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head
She's kinda cute = I want to have sex with her till I am blue
I don't know if I like her = She won't sleep with me
I miss you so much = I am so horny that my male-roommate is starting to look good
Was it good for you? = I'm insecure about my manhood
How do I compare with all your other boyfriends? = Is my penis really that small
I had a wonderful time last night = Who the hell are you
Do you love me? = I've done something stupid and you might find out
Do you 'really' love me? = I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later
How much do you love me? = I've done something really stupid and someone's on his/her way to tell you about it now
I have something to tell you = Get tested
I'll give you a call = I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again
I've been thinking a lot = You're not as attractive as when I was drunk
I think we should just be friends = You're ugly
I've learned a lot from you = Next
