My dog is a thieving fooker

TBC

TBC

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i got a 20 quid box of chocolates for my birthday a week ago, they have been sat under the coffee table at home all week..

When i go out the dog is not allowed in the living room, she has a habit of making herself comfortable on my leather sofa's (already put some scratched in em lol). today popped out to drop of kids at school, stuck her in the hallway to chill till i get back..

Come back, living room door is open dogs sat in hallway as if butter wouldn't melt. Walked in and my fookin Thorntons chocolate box is ripped to shreds on the floor, the little shit tore the box to shreds and scoffed the lot. Looking at me as if to say "you shouldn't of left em there" - she got a kick up the arse and now she is in her bed giving me the look lol. Well i hope she enjoyed them cos tonight she is getting fookin pieces of ripped up chocolate box for her fookin dinner. ggggggrgrrrrrrrrrr
 
: bart :

sounds like my dog LOL.. Staffie bitch. She lives up to her name lol

Although, she dont eat choco's, just SOFAS ! lol. Glad it is an old one. Got a door on front room now.
 
You do know that chocolates can kill your dog. I would keep an eye on her and try to get as much water down her as you can
 
I got a door but the fooker opened it lmao, as for the dog being ill - belive me you don't get a right lot of these chocolates for a score lol.... She will be fine, she's a fookin garbage bin and what don't agree gets puked.

BUT yes you are right chocolates can kill my dog especially if she fookin nicks mine again the cheeky little fooker. She is a staff bulldog cross with plenty of pig as well lmao
 
TBC said:
I got a door but the fooker opened it lmao, as for the dog being ill - belive me you don't get a right lot of these chocolates for a score lol.... She will be fine, she's a fookin garbage bin and what don't agree gets puked.

BUT yes you are right chocolates can kill my dog especially if she fookin nicks mine again the cheeky little fooker. She is a staff bulldog cross with plenty of pig as well lmao
Click to expand...

She only did it for you - she doesn't want to see you getting too fat! :)
 
the dog was only thinking about your waist line m8, i mean you are getting on in life midlife bulge.



:roflmao:
 
One of my neighbours puts food out for the foxes in the woods across from my house. I had the dog out and he run off into the woods and ate the food. I don't know what the guy had put down but the dog was farting all night.

I had him out for his last walk then went to bed. I could hear the dog in the hall moaning a bit but assumed he was trying his luck to get in the room. Then all I heard was a massive wet fart from the hall, followed by a stench of shit wafting into my room!!!!

I opened my room door to find shit splattered across the floor, up the wall and up my room door.

So I guess losing your chocolates could have turned out worse.
 
Reading your post took me back about 30 years I was working with this guy who took his pet boxer to work
We had popped in the local cafe for a tea and sos sandwich on returning to the van we noticed a lot of debris on the floor of the van which turned out to be the wrappings of my lunch the little shite had torn it apart scoffed the lot

Again he was sitting there head high with the expression IT WASN'T ME
my mates lunch was intact still makes chuckle when I think of it

I share your frustration
 
thats sooo funny...it remined me of my friends siamese cat... this is no joke...where they used to live in a close.....their cat once jumped up through the neighbours window and stole a whole chicken and brought it home and then the funniest thing ever was when it jumped through the same window and tried to nick a china doll from their window sil....but was caught from another neighbour....... and this is honest truth as i was their house keeper, when they moved again to another close every other day when i arrived there, i kept finding these wee little teddy's, the kind u would get say free with something....anyway, this particular day i arrived, i thought...WTF is that on the roof (the roof being the lower roof above front door and garage) so i went up stairs and looked out of the kids bedroom window (as this was always left ajar for the cat to get in) and feck me, it was a telly tubby teddy.. the only reason why he couldn't get it up through the window was because it had been heavly raining and was full of water and the cat couldn't lift it cos it was too heavy...... about an hour later, the women from down the close see my car there and knocked to ask for her childs teddy back....pmsl
 
A few years ago we cooked the xmas turkey on xmas eve .
We put it on the worktop and covered it with kitchen foil and got up xmas day to find the dog had got it down and scoffed the lot
Had to have ham for our dinner
 
i had a fat king charles, it ate a full chicken, bones and everything, then for days it couldnt sh*t, it was howling in pain, we had to keep pulling the bones out of its asshole as they jammed in it and stopped it sh*tting.
 
GIRLY said:
i had a fat king charles, it ate a full chicken, bones and everything, then for days it couldnt sh*t, it was howling in pain, we had to keep pulling the bones out of its asshole as they jammed in it and stopped it sh*tting.
Click to expand...

I hope you made a wish!

If anyone is going to be messing around with bones near my anus, then they'd better buy m a bl00dy nice bottle of wine first.
 
Seedy_r0m said:
I hope you made a wish!

If anyone is going to be messing around with bones near my anus, then they'd better buy m a bl00dy nice bottle of wine first.
Click to expand...

ilmao, but yea, true story mate.
 
Fecking brilliant not laughed so much for ages.:roflmao:

years ago my dog used to go to the shops every morning itself found out it was getting fed in the co-op and galbraiths with scraps from the meat counter.

it also used to go to school and the dinner ladies were feeding it. we wondered why it would never eat it's dinner.

when we moved it did not have a clue what to do until one day, I went into our local shop and the guy behind the counter told me I owed them for a packet of biscuits, seems he chased the dog from the shop after it had opened a packet of gypsy creams with it's claws and scoffed half them before he chased it.

I told him I would send the dog round with the money if he wanted it. he said it woukd be better if the dog never came back.
 
Best thread i have read in ages, had me in stiches.
Our cat once took a shine to some smoked salmon on the kitchen worktop, mrs only turned her back for a minute.
Cat with expensive taste, Left some more up there deliberately the day after laced with chili seeds.
Cats Never touched anything since, Lol
 
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