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Corny 1 Liner Thread
- Thread starter dar1437
- Start date
A guy I used to work with had been a lead guitarist for a well known rock group in the 70's.
He used to tell the following story: One day he was playing at a recording studio and Ry Cooder walked in.
Ry Cooder listened to his playing, and when the track was over came and asked "Can I have a look at your guitar?"
My friend of course was inordinately flattered that the great Ry Cooder wanted to check out his guitar, so he handed it over.
Ry Cooder played a few notes thoughtfully, handed it back and said "No, it wasn't the guitar..."
He used to tell the following story: One day he was playing at a recording studio and Ry Cooder walked in.
Ry Cooder listened to his playing, and when the track was over came and asked "Can I have a look at your guitar?"
My friend of course was inordinately flattered that the great Ry Cooder wanted to check out his guitar, so he handed it over.
Ry Cooder played a few notes thoughtfully, handed it back and said "No, it wasn't the guitar..."
This morning I woke up, popped into the kitchen to find the girlfriend making our breakfast, nice soft boiled eggs and soldiers.
Almost instantly she said, I need you to make love to me, right here right now, I thought what a great spontaneous way to start the day, I happily obliged.
We went hell for leather on the kitchen table, afterwards she said thank you.
A little puzzled, as we hadn't done that before, I asked, What was that all about.
She replied... the egg timer is broken.
Almost instantly she said, I need you to make love to me, right here right now, I thought what a great spontaneous way to start the day, I happily obliged.
We went hell for leather on the kitchen table, afterwards she said thank you.
A little puzzled, as we hadn't done that before, I asked, What was that all about.
She replied... the egg timer is broken.
Last night I was sat having my dinner when the girlfriend started doing a weekly wash, bent over I told her, you're putting weight on, your ass is the same size as the washing machine.
Later that night, we snuggled up on the settee, it came to bed time and I was getting a bit frisky, she looked at me and said,
I'm not starting this washing machine for such a small load, you'll have to do it by hand.
Later that night, we snuggled up on the settee, it came to bed time and I was getting a bit frisky, she looked at me and said,
I'm not starting this washing machine for such a small load, you'll have to do it by hand.
Little Johnnie's science class
Teacher: "Today we're going to talk about electricity.
First question. Where does the light go when we turn it off?"
Paul said that it goes back into the switch.
Another boy suggested that it goes nowhere....and so on.
Finally, little enthusiastic Johnnie shouted:
"Teacher, teacher....I'm sure I know the answer...it goes into my mum's mouth."
All the class burst out laughing heartily.
Teacher: "What do you mean Johnnie?"
"You see teacher, last night I heard dad whispering to my mum to
turn off the light and put it in your mouth".
Teacher is still recovering from shock.
Jack and Jill had just had sex.
Jack: Did you enjoy it?
Her reply: Umm...no, not really?
Jack: What d'ya mean?
Jill: Your organ is too small.
Jack: Well, I didn't expect to play in a cathedral.
Teacher: "Today we're going to talk about electricity.
First question. Where does the light go when we turn it off?"
Paul said that it goes back into the switch.
Another boy suggested that it goes nowhere....and so on.
Finally, little enthusiastic Johnnie shouted:
"Teacher, teacher....I'm sure I know the answer...it goes into my mum's mouth."
All the class burst out laughing heartily.
Teacher: "What do you mean Johnnie?"
"You see teacher, last night I heard dad whispering to my mum to
turn off the light and put it in your mouth".
Teacher is still recovering from shock.
Jack and Jill had just had sex.
Jack: Did you enjoy it?
Her reply: Umm...no, not really?
Jack: What d'ya mean?
Jill: Your organ is too small.
Jack: Well, I didn't expect to play in a cathedral.
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