Corny 1 Liner Thread

[muskrat]

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[dar1437]

Cutting through the graveyard on the way to work, I passed a bloke crouching by a grave.
'Morning' I said.
'No mate' he replied 'just having a shit'.

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My friend David had his ID stolen yesterday,
Now we just call him Dav

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I rang the RSPCA yesterday to let them know that I'd found six badgers in a suitcase at the side of the road.

"Are they moving?" The officer asked.

"I'm not sure," I replied, "but that would certainly explain the suitcase."

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I bought my wife a new fridge for her birthday. It may not sound like much but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it.

 

[dar1437]

How can you tell a blind man in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.

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what do a dwarf and a midget have in common?
very little.

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My new girlfriend reckons I'm no good in bed but I don't see how she can make a judgment like that in less than a minute.

 

[avid]

 

[avid]

 

[avid]

View attachment IMG_5601.MP4

 

[Trabbs]

A Carpenter friend of mine is taking some of his tools with him on an Ocean voyage.........he says it will be plane sailing!

 

[miggy]

IMPORTANT VACCINE ANNOUNCEMENT
This happened yesterday and is an important lesson for our age group.
A friend had his 2nd dose of the vaccine at the vaccination center. Afterwards he began to have blurred vision on the way home.
When he got home, he called the vaccination center for advice and to ask if he should go see a doctor or be hospitalized.
He was told NOT to go to a doctor or a hospital, but just return to the vaccination center and pick up his glasses.

 

[miggy]

IMPORTANT VACCINE ANNOUNCEMENT
This happened yesterday and is an important lesson for our age group.
A friend had his 2nd dose of the vaccine at the vaccination center. Afterwards he began to have blurred vision on the way home.
When he got home, he called the vaccination center for advice and to ask if he should go see a doctor or be hospitalized.
He was told NOT to go to a doctor or a hospital, but just return to the vaccination center and pick up his glasses.

Was it you @ukbob

 

[ukbob]

Was it you @ukbob

I didn't see that coming...but then i didn't have my glasses on

 

[rawsy]

 

[nara]

I see that Pogba's just had his jab.

 

[miggy]

I see that Pogba's just had his jab.


View attachment 133734

Just a little prick Mr Pogba.

 

[avid]

 

[Trabbs]

Somebody swapped my gloves for mittens, I know who it is but I'm not going to point any fingers!

 

[avid]

 

[avid]

 

[silverdale]

 

[silverdale]

 

[Trabbs]

I’ve just finished building a model of Mount Everest.
My mate asked “Is it to scale?”
“No” I replied, “It’s to look at”