I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.
Corny 1 Liner Thread
- Thread starter dar1437
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Five out of every three people have trouble understanding fractions.
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2007
- Messages
- 5,413
- Reaction score
- 7,025
3
A man sees a sign outside a house 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the
bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back
garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, "So,
tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would
be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do
some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several
medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much
he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him
so cheaply?"
"Because he's lying . He's never been out of the garden.
bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back
garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, "So,
tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would
be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do
some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several
medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much
he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him
so cheaply?"
"Because he's lying . He's never been out of the garden.
Husband: You are negative
Wife: and you are stubborn, arrogant, a low life, care about no one but yourself and your friends, all you are interested in is your own self, and in all your life you've not fulfilled even one of your promises. It is only me who is putting up with such a miser and insensitive man. You good for nothing, fat, ugly man. Even your hair transplant failed.
Husband: I was just informing you that your Covid test is negative.
Wife: OMG … I'm so sorry!
Wife: and you are stubborn, arrogant, a low life, care about no one but yourself and your friends, all you are interested in is your own self, and in all your life you've not fulfilled even one of your promises. It is only me who is putting up with such a miser and insensitive man. You good for nothing, fat, ugly man. Even your hair transplant failed.
Husband: I was just informing you that your Covid test is negative.
Wife: OMG … I'm so sorry!
I’ve got a feeling it won’t last
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