Two Aerials met on a roof, fell in love, & got married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it'
"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do
for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's bloody heavy."
A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.'
The other says 'Are you sure?'
The first says, 'Yes, I'm positive...'
Guy goes into the doctor's.
"Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my bottom"
"How's that?"
"Don't you start"
What's got 4 legs and an arm ?
A happy Rottweiler !!
Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom!
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking
battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said
"Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"
Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it'
"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do
for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's bloody heavy."
A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.'
The other says 'Are you sure?'
The first says, 'Yes, I'm positive...'
Guy goes into the doctor's.
"Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my bottom"
"How's that?"
"Don't you start"
What's got 4 legs and an arm ?
A happy Rottweiler !!
Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom!
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking
battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said
"Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"
which somehow makes them funnier LOL
