The `And It`s Not Even June` Gossip
31 May
UNITED SPLASH CASH TO STAY AHEAD
Sir Alex Ferguson has embarked on a £40million retail therapy mission to make up for the disappointment of Manchester United's FA Cup final defeat to Chelsea.
Eager to ensure United have their best possible chance of defending their Barclays Premiership title, Ferguson has already virtually sealed a deal to get Owen Hargreaves from Bayern Munich.
And late on Wednesday night, the Red Devils confirmed brilliant young duo Anderson and Nani would also be part of their squad next season.
The double signing is a major coup for the Old Trafford outfit as most of Europe's top clubs, including Real Madrid and Chelsea, have been linked with at least one of their new faces at some point over the last few months.
Nineteen-year-old Anderson is already viewed as one of the top young talents in the world.
The Porto midfielder was crowned player of the tournament at the 2005 Under-17 World Championships and is part of Brazil's squad for this summer's Copa America, a remarkable elevation even if the Samba stars' main men, Ronaldinho and Kaka, are missing the event in Venezuela.
United have been on the case of Nani for some time but appeared to have been thwarted in their attempts to sign him when it was suggested the 20-year-old was ready to extend his stay with Sporting Lisbon.
However, the proposed contract remained unsigned, allowing Ferguson to step in and snap up the Portugal international.
Ferguson will cross his fingers and hope his new arrivals enjoy the same kind of success as the last player he signed from the country, footballer of the year Cristiano Ronaldo.
"Manchester United is delighted to announce it has agreed terms in principle with FC Porto and Sporting Lisbon for the purchase of the registrations of Anderson and Nani," read a club statement.
"Personal terms have been agreed and a formal announcement will take place once the necessary administrative procedures, including medicals, have been completed."
With Hargreaves on board as well and the likelihood of a big-name striker being signed, United have signalled a statement of intent for the new campaign.
All the new arrivals will make their bows on the club's pre-season Far East tour.
However, the Old Trafford outfit are believed to be close to abandoning the final, Malaysian leg of the trip.
United had hoped a personal visit from Gill to Malaysia could help resolve the row which has erupted over their visit, which was part of the country's 50th anniversary celebrations but also clashes with the prestigious Asia Cup.
However, with the Asian Football Confederation holding the right of veto over the fixture, scheduled for July 27, and showing no sign of bending, the point is approaching when United finally admit defeat and find an alternative fixture to slot into a pre-season programme which already includes an Old Trafford encounter with Inter Milan on August 1.
One club who do appear to want United though are Aberdeen, whom it is rumoured have requested a meeting with the Red Devils as part of their 2008-09 pre-season programme to commemorate their 1983 European Cup Winners' Cup triumph.
As the victory over Real Madrid was achieved under Ferguson's management, United would appear to be the obvious choice.
Ferguson is still remembered with great affection at Pittodrie for the amazing job he did in breaking the Old Firm stranglehold in Scotland, which some maintain was a more notable achievement than bringing so much glory to Old Trafford.
PARKER SALE TO START TOON OVERHAUL
All change at Toon. The overhaul is set to begin this week with Scott Parker heading back to London, while Mark Viduka, Joey Barton and Lucas Neill could be heading to the north east.
Let's begin with Parker. There's disagreement about the size of the bid made by West Ham for his services, but the general consensus is that they've offered around £8m for the midfielder. It's also suggested that Tottenham could yet make a move for the Toon captain.
'New Newcastle boss Sam Allardyce wants to push the Parker deal through quickly to start an overhaul of his squad,' reports The Daily Mail. 'He is ready to step up his interest in troubled Manchester City midfielder Joey Barton to replace Parker.'
Meanwhile, according to The Sun, 'Mark Viduka has agreed to join Newcastle' and 'will be Sam Allardyce's first high-profile signing since he took the Toon job at the end of the season'.
As for Neill, The Mail says that he 'could move in the opposite direction to Parker. However, Newcastle face competition from Barcelona, Chelsea and Manchester United for the versatile Australia full-back, who joined West Ham in January'.
JUST HOW MUCH WILL CHELSKI ACTUALLY SPEND?
Roman Abramovich may have proved that he can actually speak by announcing that he will continue to bankroll Chelski but doubts persist that the Londoners will be spending with their ususal abandon this summer.
'Abramovich has told executives that he is willing personally to underwrite Shevchenko-sized transfer fees for the right player; however, the days of writing multimillion-pound cheques for squad players are believed to have passed,' reports The Guardian.
'A plan exists to produce more home-grown players, and Steve Sidwell has arrived from Reading without incurring a fee. Nor will a fee need to be paid if Chelsea move, as expected, for Bayern Munich's striker Claudio Pizarro. Alex, the Brazilian defender, had joined PSV Eindhoven under a loan arrangement with Chelsea and he is set to arrive for a token $1 (50p).'
AFTER ALL, THEY'RE NOT GOOD WITH BUSINESS DEALS
Hernan Crespo will once again be allowed to stay at Inter Milan by Chelski, who as far as we can tell have completely written off the money they forked out for the striker.
Khalid Boulahrouz, so comically rubbish that Jose Mourinho is willing to waste Chelski's best midfielder in defence to avoid playing him, will be flogged to Bayern Munich for £3.5m - just half what Chelski paid for him less than a year ago.
HENRY GETS TEDIOUS AGAIN
Here we go again. Thierry Henry has plunged his future at Arsenal into doubt by admitting he is "getting annoyed" with the club's recent inability to challenge for the title and announcing: "For now, I'm an Arsenal player. So there is nothing to add to it."
Henry isn't stupid and will know that plenty of people will add plenty of words to that vague statement.
"I'm getting annoyed that we're finishing at the end of the top four now," he said during a promotional tour in China. "Sometimes having a lot of youngsters in your squad - I'm not trying to look for any excuses - you cannot have the same spirit, the same results."
Ahh, Thierry and his wonderful ways of inspiring.
'Speculation continues the superstar striker could be on his way out this summer, with clubs like Inter Milan and Barcelona once more making him a top target,' notes The Sun, while the Daily Star goes even further.
They claim Barcelona will offer '£17million plus Samuel Eto'o' for Henry.
If they're mad enough to do that, Arsenal should snap their hand off.
HYYPIA TO BE FOURTH-CHOICE AT POOL
Somewhat surprisingly, The Guardian believes that 'Liverpool are considering offering Sami Hyypia a new two-year contract to stave off interest from Wigan Athletic'.
The Finn has slowed markedly in recent years, and Benitez is bound to sign another centre-half even if Hyppia stays at Anfield. The Spaniard 'hopes to buy the the Real Zaragoza centre-half Gabriel Milito' the newspaper adds.
IS LEE COOK ANY GOOD?
We'll be honest with you - the Gossip Column can't remember seeing Lee Cook play.
But QPR have told his Premiership suitors - led by Fulham, apparently - they will have to pay £5m to land the winger.
The reason we're confused is we're sure they said a few months ago he would cost £10m, and equally sure that a few days ago that he was worth £2m.
It's shooting up and down like that feature on a fruit machine that always gives you £1 even though you pressed the button when the lights were up to £8.
AND THE REST
Rubbish manager Steve Bruce is eyeing a move for rubbish footballer Stuart Parnaby...Jonathan Greening has opened new contract talks at West Brom...New Leicester boss Martin Allen is ready to raid former club MK Dons for striker Izale McLeod...Wigan are ready to take on Everton in the race for Sheffield United's Phil Jagielka...Celtic are closing on a deal for Hibernian striker Chris Killen, and have told Craig Beattie he can leave Parkhead...Premiership new boys Derby County will snap up free agent Lee Hendrie.