some jokes

mark2005

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The three sisters

There were three sisters named Alice, Jenny and Fanny. One afternoon Alice and Jenny decided to go shopping to get some new shoes. In the shop the assistant measured Alice's feet first which were a size seven. Next she measured Jenny's feet which were a size eight.

"My, you do have large feet,don't you?" the assistant exclaimed.

"That's nothing," replied Alice. "You should see the size of our Fanny's!"


A blond flips her car. A few minutes later a officer shows up and asks the blond what happened. The blond says, "there was a tree in the middle of the road, so I swerved to the right and there was another tree, so I swerved to the left and there was another tree, so I swerved back to the to the right and there was another tree, SO! I swerved back to the left and there was another tree." The officer said,"ma'me, there isn't a tree around here for thirty miles, that was your air freashner


Captain on the plane approaches 3 flight attendants red head, brunette and a blond he asks them to name a softdrink that best describes their boyfriends. The red head say hmmm.. 7up cause my boyfriend is seven inches and he is always up ..up...up.. The brunette replies mountain dew because.. Hes built like a mountain and he always wants to doo. doo . doo. The blond response is hmmm... Jack Daniels.... Captain looks puzzled and tells the blond jack daniels? thats not a soft drink... thats a hard liquor..... the blonde say Exactly...(hard lickker...) thats him



Little Jonny visited his Gran Pa's farm...........he loved it there spending all his time in the yard.

He ran into the kitchen for his lunch full of energy.......his Gran-pa asked....."What ya been doing little Jonny?"


Little Jonny replied.........................

"Sticking Fireworks up the cows arse Gran-pa !!"

Gran-pa scowelled at Jonny and said...........

"Rectum Jonny......Rectum !!"

Jonny replied.................

"Wrecked em ?.....damn near blew em appart Grandad"
 

harry127

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:)

6/10 for effort
 
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