Sickened :(

[Him Her]

So my Mum lives in sheltered accommodation.

I've done a lot of work to it so she's got the best - yeah, okay, I bought it too so it's an investment.

There are 45 apartments and it turns out pretty much the other 44 occupants are jealous because I turn up and sort stuff out and give her a hug. Now, I'm not that touchy-feely really but Mum's do like their hugs.

And I'm certainly NOT expecting fooking likes from you lot lol

But it does sicken me that most of the people there are someone's Mum or Dad and the kids don't seem to give a sh!t.

No doubt they'll turn up when the old duffer croaks and leaves them a few quid.

Sad bar stewards

 

[Fangface]

So my Mum lives in sheltered accommodation.

I've done a lot of work to it so she's got the best - yeah, okay, I bought it too so it's an investment.

There are 45 apartments and it turns out pretty much the other 44 occupants are jealous because I turn up and sort stuff out and give her a hug. Now, I'm not that touchy-feely really but Mum's do like their hugs.

And I'm certainly NOT expecting fooking likes from you lot lol

But it does sicken me that most of the people there are someone's Mum or Dad and the kids don't seem to give a sh!t.

No doubt they'll turn up when the old duffer croaks and leaves them a few quid.

Sad bar stewards

Most of the residents have probably got dementia and won't remember anyway so whats the problem?

 

[nara]

Most of the residents have probably got dementia and won't remember anyway so whats the problem?

You've a lot to learn about life, the universe, everything.:grayno:

 

[Abu Baniaz]

Our obligations to our parents don't cease because they are unwell.

 

[wiz569]

But always remember,there are two sides to every perceived situation

 

[danforth]

But always remember,there are two sides to every perceived situation

My parents looked after me when I was in need, and their care was returned when the time came.

You could argue bad parents get a just return on their investment, with the state picking up the tab at both ends.

Still, I can't help feeling there is an increasing mismatch.

 

[earthshayker]

You know sometimes when you see your dad or mum deteriorate to a stage where they can't remember you, its very difficult to see them like that. My dad was the power of knowledge, could fix everything and I mean everything, from my broken toys to me first breakup with a girlfriend.

He's now 85 and suffers with dementia so we brought him to England as back in the west indies there's not much care options. Luckily he still remembers me, my wife and kids but he talks about other family and friends who have already passed away like they were still alive. He too lives in sheltered accommodation and one day he says he hates it and another day he says he loves it but asks to go back home to the west indies every time I see him. He no longer wants to go out anywhere as I use to pick him up and bring him over to mine for dinner and just general family times. Last time I picked him up he lasted all of 15 mins before saying he wants to go back home.

My other siblings don't really see him (too busy) and even I feel I don't see him enough but it's just so damn heart breaking when I do see him and I always end up in tears.

Regardless of how it hurts I still see him as much as I can as I'm sure when I was a kid and had the shits he would not have swapped looking after me for going to work

 

[biffo1]

we all have to get old fact of life , i know i did as much as i could for both my parents when they were alive , but some of the people out just there dont give a shit , when they actually get old they might realize, "too Late Then"
just the world we live sad really

 

[Mr D Oji]

Most of the residents have probably got dementia and won't remember anyway so whats the problem?

what goes around comes around... the sooner you start to forget the better mate :Kickassro

 

[miggy]

My wife's mother lives with one of her daughters and two cheeky kids. It breaks me up to see how they treat my mother in law. They twist the story around saying she is the one being cheeky? that cannot be right surely?. Most of the family want to put her in to care where she can be looked after properly but my wife's Sister says no, so I think it could be a money issue with her as she is her carer now and in my opinion she certainly cannot look after her mother properly. My wife and I take her shopping and she is fine in her wheelchair new surroundings, things to look at that sort of thing. All she keeps saying is they keep shouting at her. Is this a more advanced stage of dementia perhaps?. The Doctors say it is the early stages of dementia but I think she is more advanced. What a worry though.

 

[Spectre]

My wife's mother lives with one of her daughters and two cheeky kids. It breaks me up to see how they treat my mother in law. They twist the story around saying she is the one being cheeky? that cannot be right surely?. Most of the family want to put her in to care where she can be looked after properly but my wife's Sister says no, so I think it could be a money issue with her as she is her carer now and in my opinion she certainly cannot look after her mother properly. My wife and I take her shopping and she is fine in her wheelchair new surroundings, things to look at that sort of thing. All she keeps saying is they keep shouting at her. Is this a more advanced stage of dementia perhaps?. The Doctors say it is the early stages of dementia but I think she is more advanced. What a worry though.

It's a bizarre thing Miggy, my gran went off it courtesy of about 14 small "strokes", the doctors called it. Small blood clots in the brain basically switching parts of it off. She went really paranoid and had a thing for slamming doors (constantly) and accusing people of being against her. She recognised me most of the time but often forgot who her daughter was.

 

[miggy]

It's a bizarre thing Miggy, my gran went off it courtesy of about 14 small "strokes", the doctors called it. Small blood clots in the brain basically switching parts of it off. She went really paranoid and had a thing for slamming doors (constantly) and accusing people of being against her. She recognised me most of the time but often forgot who her daughter was.

Spectre as you know I can be a touch short tempered in a crisis and God knows why I haven't swung for my Wife's ,Sister's brats they really are the pits. (bad couldn't give a shite parenting to blame). I would love to be a fly on the wall in that house just to see how they all really are, treating my Mother in law. I honestly think God bless her soul if the worst happened and she died that would be the end of the family get together's because we have nothing in common with them. Without your Parents you will hardly know anything about your family it is them that everyone visits and discusses there problems with not you/us.

 

[Him Her]

Dementia can be very scary and I sympathise with anyone who has to care for a family member suffering from it. Certainly there will be a few who don't care too much.

On the shared accommodation front, it's not for people with these kind of issues, it's for older people who occasionally need a little support but can generally live independently. It was a good move for my Mum as she is within 5 minutes walk of excellent high street shops, near both bus and rail services and the Police station is less than a 100m away.

Private gardens and shared lounge area but discreet alarms in the apartment.

The residents need very little help so the reason families don't visit is a mystery - geez, there's even a spare room you can rent for £20 a night if you live a long way off...

 

[miggy]

Dementia can be very scary and I sympathise with anyone who has to care for a family member suffering from it. Certainly there will be a few who don't care too much.

On the shared accommodation front, it's not for people with these kind of issues, it's for older people who occasionally need a little support but can generally live independently. It was a good move for my Mum as she is within 5 minutes walk of excellent high street shops, near both bus and rail services and the Police station is less than a 100m away.

Private gardens and shared lounge area but discreet alarms in the apartment.

The residents need very little help so the reason families don't visit is a mystery - geez, there's even a spare room you can rent for £20 a night if you live a long way off...

Do they not train these carers beforehand because all I can see in our family situation is pound signs for some?. Many times I have said to my wife's sister if you can't handle it then let someone know so she can be put in to proper care. When we go to pick my Mother in law up to take her out for the day where is my wife's sister?? in bloody bed all day. It gets me so mad to think she is getting paid a wage to look after her own mother. That money could go towards a care home for her and she will probably get looked after a damn site better than she is now. We caught her trying to light an E-cig the other day it may sound funny to some but believe me, it's a big worry to all those that really do care.

 

[Him Her]

Do they not train these carers beforehand

I don't think there's any training required for family M8!

 

[Mick]

Well generally our parents look after us for so long, it's only decent to repay the favour

I would not worry mate, your mum is getting the love and attention she needs.

Although it must be hard for allot of them to see so much attention giving to your mum and maybe some of them have no one???

Go and give them all a hug mate!

Mick

 

[miggy]

I don't think there's any training required for family M8!

I will keep my eye on her but any doubts and I will be in there mate I may only be an in law but hopefully i still have some say in the matter. At least Dick Turpin wore a mask. This is daylight robbery in my eyes and I still say she needs the proper care not someone who thinks they can just to make a few quid out of there own mother who is not in the right frame of mind to speak up for herself.

 

[Rat]

there are always 2 ways at looking at things I suppose

You come across quite boastful, I'm not really sure why you had to slip in the fact you bought the flat because its irrelevant


45 flats and 44 are jealous, if you come across in real life like you do on the forum, as the saying goes "no one likes a show off"

^^ just trying to see it form the other 44 tenants side as its hard to see how all 44 can be jealous

So my Mum lives in sheltered accommodation

I've done a lot of work to it so she's got the best - yeah, okay, I bought it too so it's an investment.

There are 45 apartments and it turns out pretty much the other 44 occupants are jealous because I turn up and sort stuff out and give her a hug. Now, I'm not that touchy-feely really but Mum's do like their hugs.

And I'm certainly NOT expecting fooking likes from you lot lol

But it does sicken me that most of the people there are someone's Mum or Dad and the kids don't seem to give a sh!t.

No doubt they'll turn up when the old duffer croaks and leaves them a few quid.

Sad bar stewards

 

[Him Her]

there are always 2 ways at looking at things I suppose

You come across quite boastful, I'm not really sure why you had to slip in the fact you bought the flat because its irrelevant


45 flats and 44 are jealous, if you come across in real life like you do on the forum, as the saying goes "no one likes a show off"

^^ just trying to see it form the other 44 tenants side as its hard to see how all 44 can be jealous

What an odd way of looking at it? As regards buying it, sure it's irrelevant but I suppose it gives people the opportunity to be negative - like I'm only protecting my investment. As for 44 out of 45 well maybe that's just hearsay as I haven't actually polled them all. I'll settle for 'a lot have commented'. None of which was the point of the post but that seems to have been lost anyway.

 

[nara]

None of which was the point of the post but that seems to have been lost anyway.

Not lost on me. I'm a little surprised at some of the negative reactions to be honest.

I'm also surprised that some posters don't seem to understand the concept of sheltered accommodation. You would not find people with dementia in sheltered accommodation.