So today was one of those days, i actually never thought it would happen to me but it did;
Pottering around the house, doing a spot of DIY and I took a wonderful phone call from "Global IT Solutions". Apparently My PC was transmitting a virus across the internet, and they were going to fix it for me!! as i rubbed my hands in glee
The "introducer" passed me onto their supervisor because I'm also a very important client.....
Indian John that could barely speak English, but was living in Manchester where it was sunny (apparently) was going to have his time wasted big time......(Manchester, I mean c'mon no one has jobs there....pffft). I told him I went to Manchester once to buy a wetsuit for my scuba diving club, but it wasn't very good........he didn't say much to that oddly.
I did say he had a strange accent for a Mancunian, and he just replied, "yes I'm in Manchester and my name is John".....really
Let the confusion commence.....
At that point, his tone changed, he actually said "are you f**** kidding me", "you're f****ing joking right"
I asked him again if he could fix it because I was really concerned about this virus, but apparently not, apparently I was a "motherf***er" and had wasted his time.... (you really had to hear how he said it, there was definite anger in his voice)
I found it quite amusing, to which he called me a "motherf***er" again and put the phone down...not before me asking him again why he couldn't fix it...
Ahhhhhhh, I've never done something that tasted so sweet...
Naturally that was the compressed version, but as I sat there with my feet up and randomly clicked some keys just so it sounded like I was doing something, or told him I had to reboot things really did stretch out...
I think at one point I had a mac, but maybe it was a PC but I just couldn't tell .....
Pottering around the house, doing a spot of DIY and I took a wonderful phone call from "Global IT Solutions". Apparently My PC was transmitting a virus across the internet, and they were going to fix it for me!! as i rubbed my hands in glee
The "introducer" passed me onto their supervisor because I'm also a very important client.....
Indian John that could barely speak English, but was living in Manchester where it was sunny (apparently) was going to have his time wasted big time......(Manchester, I mean c'mon no one has jobs there....pffft
). I told him I went to Manchester once to buy a wetsuit for my scuba diving club, but it wasn't very good........he didn't say much to that oddly.I did say he had a strange accent for a Mancunian, and he just replied, "yes I'm in Manchester and my name is John".....really
Let the confusion commence.....
- I didn't know what version of windows I had, so much so that he gave up asking me to navigate
- My PC must have crashed about 4 times...with a miraculous "not responding"; I asked them if this was the virus, "oh yes definitely sir"
- I didn't have a windows key on my keyboard....
- Internet Exploder just wasn't working and tying in "www.ammyy.com" ten times must have been frustrating, it must have been equally frustrating when I couldn't see the big green button on the page, just as I mistakenly closed the page, 3 times......well it must have been he must have said "Oh My God, what are you doing" more than the average person.
- I couldn't spell run, so much so that I even typed it as "run and run"; hey that's what he said I would see....
- When I did get to the page, I asked him if he would see my history, when he said yes I broke down asking him not to tell my wife about all the dirty sites I'd visited and if he could fix that too, but it would be even better if he knew any of the women on the sites...he just laughed and said yes.....
- He finally cracked when he asked me what was on my screen and I told him it says "big jubbly jugs dot com"
At that point, his tone changed, he actually said "are you f**** kidding me", "you're f****ing joking right"
I asked him again if he could fix it because I was really concerned about this virus, but apparently not, apparently I was a "motherf***er" and had wasted his time.... (you really had to hear how he said it, there was definite anger in his voice)
I found it quite amusing, to which he called me a "motherf***er" again and put the phone down...not before me asking him again why he couldn't fix it...
Ahhhhhhh, I've never done something that tasted so sweet...
Naturally that was the compressed version, but as I sat there with my feet up and randomly clicked some keys just so it sounded like I was doing something, or told him I had to reboot things really did stretch out...
I think at one point I had a mac, but maybe it was a PC but I just couldn't tell .....
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