The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. Saint Peter says, "Well,
Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must
inform you, however, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been
administering an entrance exam for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but
you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here, Saint Peter. I was looking
forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the
test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest. But the test I have has only three
questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?
Second, how many seconds are there in a year? Third, what is God's first name?"
Forrest goes away to think the questions over. Forrest returns the next day and
goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.
Saint Peter waves him up and asks, "Now that you have had a chance to think the
questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin with the
letter 'T'? Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow."
The saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That's not what I was
thinking, but... you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify, so I
give you credit for that answer. How about the next one? How many seconds in a
year?"
"Now that one's harder," says Forrest. "But, I thunk and thunk about that, and
I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, Saint Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how could you come up
with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second,
March second......."
"Hold it," interrupts Saint Peter. "I see where you're going with it. And I
guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind. I'll give
you credit for that one too. Let's go on with the next and final question. Can
you tell me God's first name?"
Forrest says, "Well, shore, I know God's first name. Everybody knows it. It's
Howard." "Howard?!" asks Saint Peter. "What makes you think it's Howard?!"
Forrest answers, "It's in the prayer."
"The prayer?" asks Saint Peter, "Which prayer?"
"You know, The Lord's Prayer," responds Forrest: "Our Father, which art in
Heaven, Howard be thy name......"
He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. Saint Peter says, "Well,
Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must
inform you, however, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been
administering an entrance exam for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but
you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here, Saint Peter. I was looking
forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the
test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest. But the test I have has only three
questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?
Second, how many seconds are there in a year? Third, what is God's first name?"
Forrest goes away to think the questions over. Forrest returns the next day and
goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.
Saint Peter waves him up and asks, "Now that you have had a chance to think the
questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin with the
letter 'T'? Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow."
The saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That's not what I was
thinking, but... you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify, so I
give you credit for that answer. How about the next one? How many seconds in a
year?"
"Now that one's harder," says Forrest. "But, I thunk and thunk about that, and
I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, Saint Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how could you come up
with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second,
March second......."
"Hold it," interrupts Saint Peter. "I see where you're going with it. And I
guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind. I'll give
you credit for that one too. Let's go on with the next and final question. Can
you tell me God's first name?"
Forrest says, "Well, shore, I know God's first name. Everybody knows it. It's
Howard." "Howard?!" asks Saint Peter. "What makes you think it's Howard?!"
Forrest answers, "It's in the prayer."
"The prayer?" asks Saint Peter, "Which prayer?"
"You know, The Lord's Prayer," responds Forrest: "Our Father, which art in
Heaven, Howard be thy name......"
