Corny 1 Liner Thread
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MEDICARE "PLAN G" - Nursing Home Plan
Say you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you.
So, what do you do?
You opt for "Medicare Plan G".
The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Plan G) and one bullet. You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you'll receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library,and all the Health Care you need.
Need new teeth? No problem.
Need glasses? That's great.
Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart?
They are all covered!
As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now! Who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a nursing home.
As an added bonus you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it.
Now, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes!
Is this a great country or what?
Now that I've solved your senior financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week!
Say you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you.
So, what do you do?
You opt for "Medicare Plan G".
The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Plan G) and one bullet. You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you'll receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library,and all the Health Care you need.
Need new teeth? No problem.
Need glasses? That's great.
Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart?
They are all covered!
As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now! Who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a nursing home.
As an added bonus you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it.
Now, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes!
Is this a great country or what?
Now that I've solved your senior financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week!
Australian Taxation Office
Whether you are an Aussie or not, I think you will find this one amusing and oh so true.
The Australian Tax Office actually commented on this one, emphasising the importance of accuracy in tax returns.
The ATO has returned the Tax Return to a man in Townsville after he apparently answered one of the questions. In response to the question, "Do you have anyone dependent on you?" The man wrote,
"2.1 million illegal immigrants,
1.1 million crackheads,
4.4 million unemployable scroungers,
80,000 criminals in over 85 prisons plus
450 idiots in Parliament, thousands of 'retired politicians' and an entire group that call themselves 'Senators'
The ATO stated that the response he gave was "unacceptable."
The man responded by asking ATO, "Who did I leave out?"
Whether you are an Aussie or not, I think you will find this one amusing and oh so true.
The Australian Tax Office actually commented on this one, emphasising the importance of accuracy in tax returns.
The ATO has returned the Tax Return to a man in Townsville after he apparently answered one of the questions. In response to the question, "Do you have anyone dependent on you?" The man wrote,
"2.1 million illegal immigrants,
1.1 million crackheads,
4.4 million unemployable scroungers,
80,000 criminals in over 85 prisons plus
450 idiots in Parliament, thousands of 'retired politicians' and an entire group that call themselves 'Senators'
The ATO stated that the response he gave was "unacceptable."
The man responded by asking ATO, "Who did I leave out?"
- Joined
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The next time you dislike your life, remember it's all about perspective.
I have a friend who reads 2-3 books a week, works out twice a day, has no financial worries, and has people who want to have sex with him all the time.
And yet he constantly complains about how much he hates prison.
I have a friend who reads 2-3 books a week, works out twice a day, has no financial worries, and has people who want to have sex with him all the time.
And yet he constantly complains about how much he hates prison.
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