die5el
Inactive User
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2007
- Messages
- 410
- Reaction score
- 900
A Liverpool Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan.
>
> She asks her Scouser students to raise their hands if they too are Liverpoolfans.
>
> Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
>
> The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?'
>
> 'Because I'm not a Liverpoolfan,' she replied.
>
> The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Liverpoolfan, then who are you a fan of?'
>
> 'I am a Chelseafan, and proud of it,' Mary replied.
>
> The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Chelseafan?'
>
> 'Because my mum is a Chelseafan, and my dad is a Chelseafan, so I'm a Chelseafan too!'
>
> 'Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Chelseafan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time... What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?'
>
> 'Then,' Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Liverpoolfan.
>
>
>
>
>
> An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar.
>
> They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.
>
> He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad.
>
> They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God, it's Jesus!'
>
> Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.
>
> Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter.
>
> Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.
>
> After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.
>
> He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness.
>
> When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: 'My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!'
>
> Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager.
>
> As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock.
>
> 'Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's A Miracle.'
>
> Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says, 'Back off, mate, I'm on disability benefit
>
> She asks her Scouser students to raise their hands if they too are Liverpoolfans.
>
> Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
>
> The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?'
>
> 'Because I'm not a Liverpoolfan,' she replied.
>
> The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Liverpoolfan, then who are you a fan of?'
>
> 'I am a Chelseafan, and proud of it,' Mary replied.
>
> The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Chelseafan?'
>
> 'Because my mum is a Chelseafan, and my dad is a Chelseafan, so I'm a Chelseafan too!'
>
> 'Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Chelseafan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time... What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?'
>
> 'Then,' Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Liverpoolfan.
>
>
>
>
>
> An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar.
>
> They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.
>
> He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad.
>
> They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God, it's Jesus!'
>
> Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.
>
> Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter.
>
> Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.
>
> After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.
>
> He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness.
>
> When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: 'My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!'
>
> Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager.
>
> As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock.
>
> 'Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's A Miracle.'
>
> Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says, 'Back off, mate, I'm on disability benefit
now had that been some southerner....different story 
