sempi
DW Regular
> A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
>
> The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
small.
>
> The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
> Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
> human; it was physically impossible.
>
> The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
> The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
> The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
>
>
>
> A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
> they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
> child's work.
> As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what
> the drawing was.
> The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
> The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
> Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
> replied, "They will in a minute."
>
>
>
> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
>
> Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
> answered, "Thou shall not kill."
>
>
> One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
> at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
> strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
> She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?"
> Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
> The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
> "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
>
>
>
> The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
> persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
> "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up
> and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
> doctor.'
> A small voice at the back of the room rang out,"And there's the teacher,
> She's dead. "
>
>
>
> A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
> make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,
> the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
> face.."; "Yes," the class said.
> "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
> position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted,
> "Cause your feet ain't empty."
>
> The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
> school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
> The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God
is watching."
> Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
> large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take
> all you want God is watching the apples.
>
> The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
small.
>
> The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
> Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
> human; it was physically impossible.
>
> The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
> The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
> The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
>
>
>
> A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
> they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
> child's work.
> As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what
> the drawing was.
> The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
> The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
> Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
> replied, "They will in a minute."
>
>
>
> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
>
> Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
> answered, "Thou shall not kill."
>
>
> One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
> at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
> strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
> She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?"
> Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
> The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
> "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
>
>
>
> The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
> persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
> "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up
> and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
> doctor.'
> A small voice at the back of the room rang out,"And there's the teacher,
> She's dead. "
>
>
>
> A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
> make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,
> the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
> face.."; "Yes," the class said.
> "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
> position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted,
> "Cause your feet ain't empty."
>
> The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
> school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
> The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God
is watching."
> Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
> large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take
> all you want God is watching the apples.
