Corny 1 Liner Thread

I met my wife in a travel agent's.
She said that she was looking around and that I was the last resort.

avid said:

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He got stitched up by his manager!

My mate Dave went to our local florist.

"I'd like to buy some flowers for my wife" said Dave.

"Certainly sir” the florist said “What is it you're after?"

"A blow job!" said Dave

dar1437 said:

My mate Dave went to our local florist.

"I'd like to buy some flowers for my wife" said Dave.

"Certainly sir” the florist said “What is it you're after?"

"A blow job!" said Dave

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I guess this was the florist he used.

I went to pick the missus up from weightwatchers and was eating a box of Maltesers

As I walked in, I tripped over a shoe and dropped the box.

That was the best version of hungry hippo's I've ever seen...