jawbreaker
Inactive User
How to shower like a woman
- Take off clothing, place in sectioned laundry according to whites and coloureds. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown, cover up any exposed areas if you see husband.
- Look at figure in the mirror - mental note: more exercise.
- Get in shower. Use moisturizing avocado face wash, ginger and grapefruit silk body wash, loofah, Apricot scrub, pumice stone.
- Wash hair (cucumber and sage shampoo+ 43 added vitamins) Wash hair again, apply conditioner (extract of coconut protein with thermo-beeswax and orange).
- Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country, then place in laundry bin (coloured section).
- Apply body lotion in strawberry creme with rosemary, and toning mint and lemon spritzer deodorant.
- Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head, covering any exposed areas if you see husband.
How to shower like a man
- Take off clothes, leave in pile.
- Walk naked to the bathroom - if you see wife along the way - shake knob at her making woohoo sound.
- Look at manly physique in the mirror, admire size of knob and scratch arse.
- Get in the shower. Find sliver of Sheepdip Soap in plughole.
- Wash face, armpits, arse (30 seconds), and balls (15 minutes). Leave pubic hairs stuck all over soap.
- Blow nose in hands, let the water rinse snot off.
- Make fart noises and see how loud they sound in the shower.
- Shampoo hair with Tesco Anti dandruff. Make shampoo mohawk. Pee in shower.
- Get out of shower and soak floor. Dry here and there, whilst admiring size of knob in mirror.
- Return to bedroom naked. If you see wife, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise. Again.
- Chuck wet towel on bed.
- Take off clothing, place in sectioned laundry according to whites and coloureds. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown, cover up any exposed areas if you see husband.
- Look at figure in the mirror - mental note: more exercise.
- Get in shower. Use moisturizing avocado face wash, ginger and grapefruit silk body wash, loofah, Apricot scrub, pumice stone.
- Wash hair (cucumber and sage shampoo+ 43 added vitamins) Wash hair again, apply conditioner (extract of coconut protein with thermo-beeswax and orange).
- Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country, then place in laundry bin (coloured section).
- Apply body lotion in strawberry creme with rosemary, and toning mint and lemon spritzer deodorant.
- Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head, covering any exposed areas if you see husband.
How to shower like a man
- Take off clothes, leave in pile.
- Walk naked to the bathroom - if you see wife along the way - shake knob at her making woohoo sound.
- Look at manly physique in the mirror, admire size of knob and scratch arse.
- Get in the shower. Find sliver of Sheepdip Soap in plughole.
- Wash face, armpits, arse (30 seconds), and balls (15 minutes). Leave pubic hairs stuck all over soap.
- Blow nose in hands, let the water rinse snot off.
- Make fart noises and see how loud they sound in the shower.
- Shampoo hair with Tesco Anti dandruff. Make shampoo mohawk. Pee in shower.
- Get out of shower and soak floor. Dry here and there, whilst admiring size of knob in mirror.
- Return to bedroom naked. If you see wife, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise. Again.
- Chuck wet towel on bed.
