1. So your daughter`s a hooker,
and it spoiled your day...
Look at the bright side,
she`s a really good lay.
2. My tyre was thumping...
I thought it was flat...
when I looked at the tyre...
I noticed your cat...Sorry!
3. You had your bladder removed
and you`re on the mends...
here`s a bouquet of flowers
and a box of Depends.
4. You`ve announced that you`re gay,
won`t that be a laugh,
when they find out you`re one
of the Joint Chiefs of Staff!
5. Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
`Cause when I had mine
I got real snippy.
6. Heard your wife left you...
How upset you must be...
But don`t fret about it...
She moved in with me.
7. Your computer is dead...
it was once so alive.
Don`t you regret installing
Windows 95?
8. You totaled your car...
and can`t remember why...
could it have been...
the case of Bud Dry?
9. Saw something today
that reminded me of you.
As a matter of fact it was
the shit on my shoe!
and it spoiled your day...
Look at the bright side,
she`s a really good lay.
2. My tyre was thumping...
I thought it was flat...
when I looked at the tyre...
I noticed your cat...Sorry!
3. You had your bladder removed
and you`re on the mends...
here`s a bouquet of flowers
and a box of Depends.
4. You`ve announced that you`re gay,
won`t that be a laugh,
when they find out you`re one
of the Joint Chiefs of Staff!
5. Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
`Cause when I had mine
I got real snippy.
6. Heard your wife left you...
How upset you must be...
But don`t fret about it...
She moved in with me.
7. Your computer is dead...
it was once so alive.
Don`t you regret installing
Windows 95?
8. You totaled your car...
and can`t remember why...
could it have been...
the case of Bud Dry?
9. Saw something today
that reminded me of you.
As a matter of fact it was
the shit on my shoe!
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