Quick 'Uns

BRIAN1956

DW Joke King
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Oct 3, 2007
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#1
Just read this story in a book of memoirs from an undercover cop. He claimed it was true.

They had a bad guy under surveillance (house bugged) when they heard the following hilarious incident:

Bad guy: Jeez you wouldn't believe what happened to me yesterday. I got home and I spotted my Rottweiller had dug a hole under the fence between me and my neighbour's house. The dog had returned but was tossing the pet rabbit from next door around.

Buddy: What did you do?

Bad guy: I ran up to him, gave him a whack and took the rabbit off him but the thing was stone f*cking dead and covered in muck and sh*t.

Buddy: Oh oh.

Bad guy: Yeah I know, I was sh*tting it as I knew it belonged to the little girl next door and she would be really upset. So I had to think fast.

Buddy: What did you do?

Bad guy: I put the rabbit into the washing machine on a short cycle and when it was on I went out and filled the hole and levelled it out to make it look like nothing happened. Then I got the bunny, all clean and fluffy and hopped over the fence and sneaked it back into the hutch before they came home.

Buddy: What happened ?

Bad guy: A while later as I was supping a cuppa tea, I heard this terrible screaming. So, pretending to be concerned I ran out and there was the mother screaming. I said "What's wrong".

She said "It's the rabbit. it's dead in the hutch".

I said "Aw that's sad, but calm down a bit".


She said "No, no you don't understand - we buried it 3 days ago !! "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A little girl asked her Mom, 'Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?' Mom replies, 'No, because she is in heat.'

'What's that mean?' asked the child.

'Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'

The little girl goes to the garage and says, 'Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.'

Dad said, 'Bring Belle over here.' He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said
'OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block..'

The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Belle?'



The little girl said, 'She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'
 

nok1

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Jul 31, 2007
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#3
lol
the second one is a classic
 
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