A priest is giving confession but he drank a little too much
communion wine before hand and had to piss really bad. So when
the next guy was done with his confession the priest asked him,
"Would you mind sitting in for me while I visit the bathroom?"
The man, being a pleasant soul, said he would.
So the priest showed him a list of sins and the corresponding
penances to go along with them. The man was pretty sure that he
had things under control.
He was going along giving away Our Fathers, Hail Mary's, Rosaries
and everything was going good. Then a lady came in and said,
"Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I gave my boyfriend a
blowjob."
The man looked on his list for Blowjob but couldn't find it. He
crossed reference it with Head, Sucked Dick, and Oral Sex but
couldn't find a penance. So he asked an Altar Boy,
"Hey, what does the priest give for a blowjob?"
To which the kid replied,
"He usually gives us two candy bars and a coke."
_______________________________________________________________
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after
accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian
couple and begin talking about all sorts of things.
Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop
computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up
the subject of sex. "Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen.
"Pretty much the way you do," responds the Martian.
Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners
for the night and experience one another.
Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the
Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie member - about half
an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.
"I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen.
"Why?" he asks, "What's the matter?"
"Well," she replies, "It's just not big enough!"
"No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his
palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's
quite impressively long.
"Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty
narrow...."
"No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each
pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire
measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.
"Wow!" she exclaims, as they fall into bed and make mad,
passionate love.
The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go
their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike asks
"Well, was it any good?"
"I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful.
How about you?"
"It was horrible," he replies, "All she kept doing the whole time
was slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."
communion wine before hand and had to piss really bad. So when
the next guy was done with his confession the priest asked him,
"Would you mind sitting in for me while I visit the bathroom?"
The man, being a pleasant soul, said he would.
So the priest showed him a list of sins and the corresponding
penances to go along with them. The man was pretty sure that he
had things under control.
He was going along giving away Our Fathers, Hail Mary's, Rosaries
and everything was going good. Then a lady came in and said,
"Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I gave my boyfriend a
blowjob."
The man looked on his list for Blowjob but couldn't find it. He
crossed reference it with Head, Sucked Dick, and Oral Sex but
couldn't find a penance. So he asked an Altar Boy,
"Hey, what does the priest give for a blowjob?"
To which the kid replied,
"He usually gives us two candy bars and a coke."
_______________________________________________________________
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after
accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian
couple and begin talking about all sorts of things.
Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop
computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up
the subject of sex. "Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen.
"Pretty much the way you do," responds the Martian.
Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners
for the night and experience one another.
Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the
Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie member - about half
an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.
"I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen.
"Why?" he asks, "What's the matter?"
"Well," she replies, "It's just not big enough!"
"No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his
palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's
quite impressively long.
"Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty
narrow...."
"No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each
pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire
measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.
"Wow!" she exclaims, as they fall into bed and make mad,
passionate love.
The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go
their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike asks
"Well, was it any good?"
"I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful.
How about you?"
"It was horrible," he replies, "All she kept doing the whole time
was slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."
