Jokes...

kamthanki

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Here are some jokes i received in an e-mail.
some of them are new and some of them are old....



Paddy's been arrested for punching his wife again.

The Judge asks; "Why do you keep beating her?

Paddy answers: "I think it's my weight advantage, longer arm reach and
superior footwork......."





Teacher asks "Billy, if there are 5 birds on a fence and you shoot 1, how many are left?"
Billy replies "None! The others would fly away"

Teacher: "The answer is 4, but i like the way you think!"
Billy replies: "I have a question for you Miss. There are 3 women eating ice cream cones, 1 licking, 1 biting and 1 sucking, which one is married?"

Teacher nervously answers: "The one Sucking?"

Billy replies "The answer is the one with the ring on, But i like the way you think!!





In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa!



***********************
One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells.It appears that Scousers and Pikeys is not the correct answer!




There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Hartlepool but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets!




Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil fromTesco. Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.

 
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