A Treatise on the Importance of Smoke.
Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of
negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke".
Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true
because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working.
This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing. For example, if one
places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of
smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one
observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage
regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The
logic is elementary and inescapable!
The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to
another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system,
nothing works afterward.
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time
largely because they consumed large quantities of
smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.
It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to
electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts
point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British
engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems
leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defence
secrets. Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once
again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of
smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components -
especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.
"A gentleman does not motor about after dark."
Joseph Lucas (1842 - 1903)
Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of
negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke".
Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true
because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working.
This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing. For example, if one
places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of
smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one
observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage
regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The
logic is elementary and inescapable!
The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to
another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system,
nothing works afterward.
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time
largely because they consumed large quantities of
smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.
It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to
electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts
point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British
engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems
leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defence
secrets. Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once
again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of
smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components -
especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.
"A gentleman does not motor about after dark."
Joseph Lucas (1842 - 1903)
