BRIAN1956
DW Joke King
Father to little daughter:
You are the most beautiful girl in this photo... and I'm not biased.
Father: Do you know what "biased" means?
Daughter (rolling her eyes):
Yes, it means that you like both boys and girls.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window,
“I want to open a fookin’ checking account”
To which the lady replied, “I beg your pardon, what did you say?”
“Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a fookin checking account right now.”
“Sir, I’m sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!”
The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation.
They both returned and the manager asked, “What seems to be the problem here?”
“There’s no damn problem,” the man said,
“I just won 50 million in the lottery and I want to open a fookin’ checking account in this damn bank!”
“I see sir,” the manager said, “and this bitch is giving you a hard time?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man shopping in a supermarket took his purchase of two cans of dog food to the checkout counter.
The cashier asked, “Sir, do you have a dog?”
“Yes.” replied the man.
“Well, where is it?” asked the cashier.
“I left him home.” he answered.
“Sorry,” the cashier said, “You can’t buy the dog food if I can’t see the dog. That’s the rules.”
The next day he returned to the store and brought some cat food to the checkout.
“Do you have a cat?” asked the cashier.
“Yes,” he said, “but I left him home.”
“Sorry,” she said, “If I can’t see the cat, I can’t sell you the food. That’s the rules.”
The next day the man walked into the store with a brown paper bag.
He walked up to the cashier and said, “Here. Put your hand in here.”
The cashier put her hand in and said, “It’s soft and warm. What is it?”
The man replied, “I’d like three rolls of toilet paper please!”
You are the most beautiful girl in this photo... and I'm not biased.
Father: Do you know what "biased" means?
Daughter (rolling her eyes):
Yes, it means that you like both boys and girls.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window,
“I want to open a fookin’ checking account”
To which the lady replied, “I beg your pardon, what did you say?”
“Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a fookin checking account right now.”
“Sir, I’m sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!”
The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation.
They both returned and the manager asked, “What seems to be the problem here?”
“There’s no damn problem,” the man said,
“I just won 50 million in the lottery and I want to open a fookin’ checking account in this damn bank!”
“I see sir,” the manager said, “and this bitch is giving you a hard time?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man shopping in a supermarket took his purchase of two cans of dog food to the checkout counter.
The cashier asked, “Sir, do you have a dog?”
“Yes.” replied the man.
“Well, where is it?” asked the cashier.
“I left him home.” he answered.
“Sorry,” the cashier said, “You can’t buy the dog food if I can’t see the dog. That’s the rules.”
The next day he returned to the store and brought some cat food to the checkout.
“Do you have a cat?” asked the cashier.
“Yes,” he said, “but I left him home.”
“Sorry,” she said, “If I can’t see the cat, I can’t sell you the food. That’s the rules.”
The next day the man walked into the store with a brown paper bag.
He walked up to the cashier and said, “Here. Put your hand in here.”
The cashier put her hand in and said, “It’s soft and warm. What is it?”
The man replied, “I’d like three rolls of toilet paper please!”
