face lift

mickyboy

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A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends
$5,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before
leaving, she says to
the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I
am?"
About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says
happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl
the very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29." The
woman
replies, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store
on
her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints
and
asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say
30." Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you."
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next
to
her the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is
going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old
a
woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my
hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how
old
you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best
of
her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both
of
his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and
carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast...He gently pinches each
nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each
other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am
I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and
says, "Madam, you are 50." Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That
was
incredible, how could you tell?'
The old man says, "promise you won't get mad?"

I promise I won't." she says.

I was behind you in line at McDonald's.":silly:
 

Highlander

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that was my grandad in the que, lucky git

R.I.P. Grandad
 
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