Corny 1 Liner Thread
- Thread starter dar1437
- Start date
muskrat
Inactive User
My goal for 2020 was to lose 10 pounds.
Only have 14 to go.
Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes.
Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese.
FINE, it was a pizza....OK, I ate a pizza! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented.
I forgot where I was going with this.
I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.
A thief broke into my house last night.
He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
It's weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older...this is not what I expected.
Chocolate is God's way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
It's probably my age that tricks people into thinking I'm an adult.
Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?
Him: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember.. Don't sing!
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
If you can't think of a word, say, "I forgot the English word for it." That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.
I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
Coronacoaster: noun; the ups and downs of a pandemic.
One day you're loving your bubble, doing work outs, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next you're crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don't even like.
I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet.
I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do it's because I missed my exit.
You don't realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
Only have 14 to go.
Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes.
Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese.
FINE, it was a pizza....OK, I ate a pizza! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented.
I forgot where I was going with this.
I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.
A thief broke into my house last night.
He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
It's weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older...this is not what I expected.
Chocolate is God's way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
It's probably my age that tricks people into thinking I'm an adult.
Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?
Him: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember.. Don't sing!
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
If you can't think of a word, say, "I forgot the English word for it." That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.
I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
Coronacoaster: noun; the ups and downs of a pandemic.
One day you're loving your bubble, doing work outs, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next you're crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don't even like.
I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet.
I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do it's because I missed my exit.
You don't realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
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