Jim McColl has done well for himself since The Beechgrove Garden
By Tam Cowan on Jun 16, 12 07:25 AM in
IT was revealed this week that Westlife singer Shane Filan has been declared bankrupt.
Don't worry, mate. Just start calling yourself "The" Shane Filan and the rest of the acts in the Top Ten will probably welcome you back with open arms.
Staying with the music theme, pop pickers, perhaps it's time to replace Roy "Penny Arcade" Orbison at Ibrox.
Surely the Newco should run out the tunnel to a song from 80s band The The? Remember them?
Apart from a track called Shades Of Blue (very appropriate), a quick bit of research revealed their other singles included Confused Subject, Cold Spell Ahead, Uncertain Smile and, my favourite, Armageddon Days Are Here Again.
Hey, come on, it's not all bad news for Rangers. Sure, 140 years of history may have been wiped out this week but I hear they are hot favourites for next year's Challenge Cup.
Shouldn't laugh, I suppose, but it's hard not to smile when you hear the usual suspects (club legends and the usual acolytes in the media) going into fake panic mode at the very thought of Scottish football with no Rangers in the SPL.
Where was their concern for our game whenever there was the slightest sniff of Rangers doing a runner to England?
Just about every former player from the nine-in-a-row era has been bumping his gums about the top flight being unable to prosper without the mighty Rangers.
Changed days, eh? Remember when they were looking for our blessing to quit the SPL and started giving us all that patronising patter about the league being more competitive without the Old Firm?
Funny how they're suddenly so keen to be part of a league once dismissed as a Mickey Mouse set-up.
If we're being honest, the SPL is a Mickey Mouse league. But any old notion that Rangers are too big for it was surely dismissed this week when the death of RFC wasn't even mentioned on the UK news bulletins or the Euro 2012 programmes broadcast by both the BBC and ITV.
Harry Redknapp's sacking at Spurs? That was discussed at length during ITV's highlights package on Wednesday but the liquidation of Rangers? Didn't merit a mention.
Rangers were a big fish in a small pond but now they're floundering by the side of the pool and we still don't know if they'll be chucked back in.
Allowing "The" Rangers straight back into the SPL will rip the heart out of Scottish football.
What's to stop other clubs from dodging their taxes, going into liquidation and re-emerging as, say, The St Mirren or The Kilmarnock?
Killie have already nailed their colours to the mast with chairman Michael Johnston admitting he'll vote for the newco to be admitted to the SPL regardless of what Kilmarnock fans think.
Hardly surprising. Let's face it, if Charles Green broke into the Killie trophy room and stole the League Cup before flogging it to Cash Converters, Johnston would still side with Rangers.
However, with the £800,000 they were owed for Lee Wallace having presumably vanished into thin air, no prizes for guessing how Hearts will vote. As for the other SPL clubs, will sporting integrity be sold for financial self-interest? I reckon the answer is yes - unless the majority of club chairmen suddenly grow a pair.
The fans are supposed to be the most important people in football and a huge majority (95 per cent according to the last SPL survey) are opposed to "The" Rangers crawling back into the Premier League.
So surely The The clubs must listen to paying punters? But don't hold your breath.
I've said since day one of this saga it would be unfair on the diehards, who have pumped millions into Rangers since the Souness revolution, to chuck their club into the Third Division.
But the failure to impose such a tough sanction would be equally unfair on the diehard fans of all the other clubs who spent fortunes to watch their team being effectively cheated by Rangers.
As a Motherwell fan, I love the opportunity to beat either half of the Old Firm but I'm now willing to wait three seasons for another crack at Rangers.
The clubs now have a straight choice to make - Sky TV money or season-ticket revenue? What's worth more to the SPL outfits?
I'm no accountant but surely losing 5000 visiting Rangers fans twice a year is better than running the risk of losing 95 per cent of your home support for the entire season?
Do the clubs honestly think supporters aren't serious about a mass boycott? Of course, none of this would even be a talking point if it was St Mirren, Killie or St Johnstone being issued with a death certificate.
They'd have been booted into Division Three without hesitation.
But it's all so confusing. And your average Scottish football fan has been stoating about these past few weeks like Jim from Taxi.
Just when we thought the final chapter had been written in football's version of War and Peace, up pops Walter Smith to say he'll save his beloved Rangers. Eh?
According to the text I received last night, Walter is now on a jet bound for Dallas to see if he can also stop the assassination of John F Kennedy.
Apparently he acted after hearing a pal crying his heart out over his beloved Rangers (I must have missed that edition of Sportsound) and now he wants to rebuild the club.
Sorry to be a pedant, Walter, but you can't. The club's dead. You'd be as well trying to give Roy Orbison the kiss of life.
However, I've absolutely no doubt he will be back at Ibrox with "The" Rangers. And, with Ally McCoist in the dug-out, perhaps they'll go for the hat-trick and bring back Sir David Murray as well. Coisty's unshaven look surprised a lot of folk the other day but, like any Rangers fan, perhaps he's been advised to stay away from any razor blades.
Walter's wee consortium includes Douglas Park of Park's of Hamilton fame (the fella who first showed Waldo how to park the bus) and the billionaire Jim McColl.
He's done well for himself since The Beechgrove Garden, eh?
Just one question - where exactly were these big hitters when Murray was flogging the club to Craig Whyte for a pound?
Ah yes, Sir Dave.
Listen, folks, forget all this week's dramatic headlines. It wasn't the taxman who buried Rangers - it was the club's past owners. And I would be flabbergasted if Sir Dave received any sympathy from Airdrie fans after famously putting the Lanarkshire club out of business with a winding-up order a decade ago.
It has been rumoured Sky might still do a deal to show all the Rangers games on The History Channel.
But I wonder if STV fancy revamping their old lower league programme, Football First, and calling it Football Third so we can still watch Rangers games on the telly?
In saying that, despite all the scaremongering, I'm convinced Sky Sports would still fork out to show Rangers in Division Three.
Do you honestly think the Celtic fans would cancel their subscriptions if that meant not being able to watch their old rivals slumming it with East Stirling and Annan?
No chance.
If anything, Rupert Murdoch's profits would go through the roof.
Jim McColl has done well for himself since The Beechgrove Garden - The Daily Record - Tam Cowan
they allowed the old firm to dominate and its basically the tory system of doing things...make the rich richer and the poor poorer..
