Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE.
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
There are 3 religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
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If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Why do we say something's out of Whack? What's a Whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses it's voice is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in...what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight containers? Aren't they stale bread to begin with?
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree
surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on drivers licenses of bald men?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me...they're cramming for the their final exam.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
If it's true we're here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
no one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
What ever happened to Preparation A through G?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? (Your singing one of them right now aren't you?)
THANKS FOR GETTING THIS FAR, I HOPE YOU GOT A LAUGH OUT OF THIS.
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
There are 3 religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Why do we say something's out of Whack? What's a Whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses it's voice is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in...what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight containers? Aren't they stale bread to begin with?
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree
surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on drivers licenses of bald men?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me...they're cramming for the their final exam.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
If it's true we're here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
no one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
What ever happened to Preparation A through G?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? (Your singing one of them right now aren't you?)
THANKS FOR GETTING THIS FAR, I HOPE YOU GOT A LAUGH OUT OF THIS.
