BRIAN1956
DW Joke King
These two poor kids go to a birthday party at a rich kid's house.
The kid is so rich that he has his own swimming pool and all the kids go in.
As they're changing afterwards, one of the poor kids says to the other one,
"Did you notice how small the rich kids' penises were?"
"Yeah," says his mate,
"It's probably because they've got toys to play with."
~~~~~~~~~~~
One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife,
'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'.
Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.
'What the Hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'Mary', he hollered into the bathroom,
'Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear?'
She replied
'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Mick appeared on the Irish version of 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' and was nearly at the end of the quiz with winnings of £500,000.
'You've done very well so far,' said the show's presenter, 'to get the £1 million, you've only got one lifeline left - phone a friend.
Everything is riding on this question . . . will you have a go?'
'Sure,' said Mick. 'I'll have a go!'
'OK. The question is: Which of the following birds does NOT build its' own nest?' (a) Robin (b) Sparrow (c) Cuckoo or (d) Thrush.'
'I haven't got a clue,' said Mick,
'so I'll use my last lifeline and phone me friend Paddy back home in Ballygoon.'
Mick called up his mate, told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.
'Foockin hell, Mick!' cried Paddy. 'Dat's simple . . . it's a Cuckoo.' answer C.
'Are you sure, Paddy?' asked Mick.
'I'm foockin sure Mick.'
Mick hung up the phone and told the TV presenter,
'I'll go with da Cuckoo as my answer.'
answer C.
'Is that your final answer? Lock it in? asked the host.
'Dat it is, Sir. Lock it in.'
There was a long, long pause, then the presenter screamed,
'Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won £1 million!'
The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
'Tell me, Paddy - how in God's name did you know it was the Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest? I mean, you know fook-all about birds.'
'Ah bejaysus!' laughed Paddy.
'Everybody knows a foockin' Cuckoo lives in a clock!'
The kid is so rich that he has his own swimming pool and all the kids go in.
As they're changing afterwards, one of the poor kids says to the other one,
"Did you notice how small the rich kids' penises were?"
"Yeah," says his mate,
"It's probably because they've got toys to play with."
~~~~~~~~~~~
One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife,
'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'.
Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.
'What the Hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'Mary', he hollered into the bathroom,
'Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear?'
She replied
'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Mick appeared on the Irish version of 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' and was nearly at the end of the quiz with winnings of £500,000.
'You've done very well so far,' said the show's presenter, 'to get the £1 million, you've only got one lifeline left - phone a friend.
Everything is riding on this question . . . will you have a go?'
'Sure,' said Mick. 'I'll have a go!'
'OK. The question is: Which of the following birds does NOT build its' own nest?' (a) Robin (b) Sparrow (c) Cuckoo or (d) Thrush.'
'I haven't got a clue,' said Mick,
'so I'll use my last lifeline and phone me friend Paddy back home in Ballygoon.'
Mick called up his mate, told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.
'Foockin hell, Mick!' cried Paddy. 'Dat's simple . . . it's a Cuckoo.' answer C.
'Are you sure, Paddy?' asked Mick.
'I'm foockin sure Mick.'
Mick hung up the phone and told the TV presenter,
'I'll go with da Cuckoo as my answer.'
answer C.
'Is that your final answer? Lock it in? asked the host.
'Dat it is, Sir. Lock it in.'
There was a long, long pause, then the presenter screamed,
'Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won £1 million!'
The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
'Tell me, Paddy - how in God's name did you know it was the Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest? I mean, you know fook-all about birds.'
'Ah bejaysus!' laughed Paddy.
'Everybody knows a foockin' Cuckoo lives in a clock!'
