- Joined
- May 27, 2001
- Messages
- 20,896
- Reaction score
- 530
> The Navy found they had too many officers and decided
> to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who
> volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1000 for every inch measured
> in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got
> to choose what those two points would be.
>
> The first officer who accepted, asked that he be
> measured from top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured
> at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
>
> The second officer who accepted was a little smarter
> and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to
> his toes. He walked out with $96000.
>
> The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when
> asked where he would like to be measured replied "from the tip of my
> penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to
> reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers
> had received. But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with
> him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The
> medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to "drop 'em", which
> he did.
> The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's
> penis and began to work back.
> "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
> The Captain calmly replied "Vietnam."
>
> to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who
> volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1000 for every inch measured
> in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got
> to choose what those two points would be.
>
> The first officer who accepted, asked that he be
> measured from top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured
> at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
>
> The second officer who accepted was a little smarter
> and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to
> his toes. He walked out with $96000.
>
> The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when
> asked where he would like to be measured replied "from the tip of my
> penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to
> reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers
> had received. But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with
> him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The
> medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to "drop 'em", which
> he did.
> The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's
> penis and began to work back.
> "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
> The Captain calmly replied "Vietnam."
>
