BRIAN1956
DW Joke King
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion.
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
“Yes,' I sighed,
'She's my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago.
I hear she hasn't been sober since.”
'My God!' says my wife,
'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100 dollar bill on his dick.
Well the tattoo artist laughs and says "I'll do it for free if you can give me one good reason for it."
The guy thinks for a second and says.
"Well one, I like to keep my money in my pants,
two, I like to watch my money grow,
and three I want to see how fast my wife can blow a $100.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a hospital’s Intensive Care Unit, patients were dying in the same bed every Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural.
No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.
So a world-wide expert team was contaced and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.
On the next Sunday morning a few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.
Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil.
Just then the clock struck 11…
And then……
The part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward, unplugged the life support system and plugged in the vacuum cleaner.
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
“Yes,' I sighed,
'She's my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago.
I hear she hasn't been sober since.”
'My God!' says my wife,
'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100 dollar bill on his dick.
Well the tattoo artist laughs and says "I'll do it for free if you can give me one good reason for it."
The guy thinks for a second and says.
"Well one, I like to keep my money in my pants,
two, I like to watch my money grow,
and three I want to see how fast my wife can blow a $100.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a hospital’s Intensive Care Unit, patients were dying in the same bed every Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural.
No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.
So a world-wide expert team was contaced and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.
On the next Sunday morning a few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.
Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil.
Just then the clock struck 11…
And then……
The part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward, unplugged the life support system and plugged in the vacuum cleaner.
