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A Memo To Martin Jol
Date: 12/03/06
To: Martin Jol, First team coach of Tottenham Hotspur
From: The Association of Real Spurs Enforcers Neutralising Anarchist Levy
Subject: "Next year, maybe."©Tottenham fans
Details:
You don’t really know how to take Spurs to the next level. We were given 4th spot, gift-wrapped with a ribbon, and yet you have done your best to give it away. We all expected 4th spot pre-season, and now we are destined to end up without it. At the very least we might sneak into the UEFA Cup, with is the equivalent of the League Cup of Europe.
Stubborn to the bone, you seem obsessed with playing players who look good on paper but do little on the pitch. You don’t make substitutions when they are needed and you don’t attempt to win games when they are there to be won.
Six Premiership defeats is disgraceful.
We have conceded several goals in the dying moments costing us valuable points. We have also been knocked out of two Cup competitions because of lack of conviction.
Yet, the fact you have no hair appears to be somewhat of a shrewd tactical ploy on your part to keep the fans singing songs in your favour. I hear that you have asked Paul Stalteri to shave his head.
If you struggled with English and had bug-eyes you would be shown the door for incompetence.
And yet you are still here, forcing Defoe out of the club and showing over-the-top loyalty to the likes of Robbie Keane, a one-trick pony from the school of Joe Cole who knows nothing about team-work. The same thing applies to the vastly over-rated Paul Robinson whose strong point appears to be booting the ball down the pitch in true Wimbledon style to our very own John Fashanu, Mido (who complains more than Mary Whitehouse did when she was alive and well).
You play former Juventus star Davids, who if he had the looks of Luke Chadwick, you would have sacked him by now. A man famous for his glasses and dreadlocks and once upon a time being a pretty decent player is now nothing but a blind pitbull with no sense of direction. But he has dreadlocks, I hear you shout! This is quite obviously another ploy that has close ties to the Spurs Shop and merchandising.
Then there’s are fullbacks. Paul Stalteri is like some blind demented Sam the Eagle, galloping in the wrong direction unable to do the simple things like…trap a football/pass a football/play with a football/ kick a ball down field in the dying moments.
Yet he is undroppable. Undroppable? More like invisible.
The same could be said for Jenas. So what if he is outscoring previous Spurs midfielders from recent years? He doesn’t appear to do much else, and if you study video evidence, you will find he is at fault for the recent defeat. In fact, I also blame him for the demise of Nottm Forest, as since they sold him they have gone downhill, struggling to reclaim past glories.
Carrick for England? Glenn Hoddle found God with his pass. Carrick found Wright-Phillips.
Lennon has pace. So does a 100-metre sprint athlete. Big deal. This time next year he’ll be playing reserve team football, and then he’ll be loaned out to Stockport.
Danny Murphy has done nothing, nothing in his time at Spurs and is a costly flop.
You got rid of the next big thing, Wayne Routledge.
You also bought a crocked Egyptian who hasn’t even played 60 career goals and you have sold Champions League winner Pedro ‘two-goals-against-City’ Mendes to Pompey.
One balls-up after another. Maybe your parents should have called you Cock, instead of your brother.
I’m staggered to think we should have been 20 points clear off 5th spot, yet your naïve tactics and poor motivation has ruined any chance of success. Next season, with Arsenal, Bolton and Rovers improving further, it will make claiming a 4th place in the league nigh impossible.
I expect the summer to be full of transfers.
Defoe to Liverpool.
Carrick to Utd.
Mido back to Roma.
King to Ashburton.
Even though these players are over-rated, its still half a team you are going to lose and I'm sure you will waste the money on signing more players who are not good enough.
All because you can’t work out how to win games that we are supposed to win. You are technically as bad as our previous managers.
We never attack with pace. We never have shots on goal. And we don’t seem to be capable of killing games off with some time-wasting (ball in corner and subs in last minute).
All this says one thing to me: You don’t have a clue.
We have no winners in the team. No one who has that never-say-die mentality or that self-belief in themselves and in 4th place.
Compare this to previous years.
With so many England internationals in the side, we should be 3rd at the very least, and yet you are driving us towards the bottom half of the mid-table.
I firmly believe this team could match, for 90 minutes, the Brazil side of the 70’s, and because of modern day fitness, we could probably beat them (though it would take extra-time to do so).
But with you in charge, I’m positive that would not happen. Instead, in the 91st minute, Pele claims the ball from Stalteri, who doesn’t clear it out and he slides the ball to Jairzinho, who dummies, and allows the incoming Carlos Alberto to flick the ball up in the air and header it to Rivelino who jinxs between King and Dawson before passing the ball to Pele who has taken a position at the far corner. Pele, controls the ball with his chest, allowing it to drop down to his left foot. He moves the ball to his right foot, nutmegs Robinson three times before stopping the ball dead on the goal line. Felix is there to knock the ball in with a deft touch with his chin.
Everyone is gutted. Except for Dawson who is smiling.
Another last minute defeat for Tottenham. A defeat that I simply cannot forgive you for.
You have been at the club for a couple of seasons and I see no progress. We are not impatient and over-demanding and we are not fickle. It’s a fact that your job is a comfortable one and you should be able to please us with relative ease. And yet you cant even qualify us for the Champions League.
You allow the likes for Jose, Arsene and Alex to overshadow you. Compare what they have achieved to what you have and this is further proof of your incompetence.
Congratulations Martin. There use to be a football club here.
But maybe I mis-understand you. Maybe the truth is deep down, aiming for success is better than the actual success itself. And your masterplan is to keep us in a perpetual transitional period.
Because, lets face it, winning too much will lead us to being spoilt. And thus, Champs League would be a disaster for the club.
It would lead to extra revenue, world class players signing, 45000 ground capacity and thus the arrival of fairweather/glory hunting fans. The Park Lane end will be full of sit-down prawn sandwich eaters and people who dont know who Bill Nicholson is. John Obi Mikel will want to sign for us. Huge sponsership. Our own tv channel (Sky Sports). Lack of atmosphere will follow and with silverware after silverware, the club will degenerate into a laughing stock.
So, in conclusion, either way, we end up unhappy.
Its akin to killing someone, using voodoo to bring them back to life, and then burying them alive.
No matter what, our hopes and dreams live in a bodybag being carried by you. Martin Jol, the Grim Reaper of the Lane.
I wish I was born in Woolwich.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
read that about 10 minutes ago and im still laughing
.
Date: 12/03/06
To: Martin Jol, First team coach of Tottenham Hotspur
From: The Association of Real Spurs Enforcers Neutralising Anarchist Levy
Subject: "Next year, maybe."©Tottenham fans
Details:
You don’t really know how to take Spurs to the next level. We were given 4th spot, gift-wrapped with a ribbon, and yet you have done your best to give it away. We all expected 4th spot pre-season, and now we are destined to end up without it. At the very least we might sneak into the UEFA Cup, with is the equivalent of the League Cup of Europe.
Stubborn to the bone, you seem obsessed with playing players who look good on paper but do little on the pitch. You don’t make substitutions when they are needed and you don’t attempt to win games when they are there to be won.
Six Premiership defeats is disgraceful.
We have conceded several goals in the dying moments costing us valuable points. We have also been knocked out of two Cup competitions because of lack of conviction.
Yet, the fact you have no hair appears to be somewhat of a shrewd tactical ploy on your part to keep the fans singing songs in your favour. I hear that you have asked Paul Stalteri to shave his head.
If you struggled with English and had bug-eyes you would be shown the door for incompetence.
And yet you are still here, forcing Defoe out of the club and showing over-the-top loyalty to the likes of Robbie Keane, a one-trick pony from the school of Joe Cole who knows nothing about team-work. The same thing applies to the vastly over-rated Paul Robinson whose strong point appears to be booting the ball down the pitch in true Wimbledon style to our very own John Fashanu, Mido (who complains more than Mary Whitehouse did when she was alive and well).
You play former Juventus star Davids, who if he had the looks of Luke Chadwick, you would have sacked him by now. A man famous for his glasses and dreadlocks and once upon a time being a pretty decent player is now nothing but a blind pitbull with no sense of direction. But he has dreadlocks, I hear you shout! This is quite obviously another ploy that has close ties to the Spurs Shop and merchandising.
Then there’s are fullbacks. Paul Stalteri is like some blind demented Sam the Eagle, galloping in the wrong direction unable to do the simple things like…trap a football/pass a football/play with a football/ kick a ball down field in the dying moments.
Yet he is undroppable. Undroppable? More like invisible.
The same could be said for Jenas. So what if he is outscoring previous Spurs midfielders from recent years? He doesn’t appear to do much else, and if you study video evidence, you will find he is at fault for the recent defeat. In fact, I also blame him for the demise of Nottm Forest, as since they sold him they have gone downhill, struggling to reclaim past glories.
Carrick for England? Glenn Hoddle found God with his pass. Carrick found Wright-Phillips.
Lennon has pace. So does a 100-metre sprint athlete. Big deal. This time next year he’ll be playing reserve team football, and then he’ll be loaned out to Stockport.
Danny Murphy has done nothing, nothing in his time at Spurs and is a costly flop.
You got rid of the next big thing, Wayne Routledge.
You also bought a crocked Egyptian who hasn’t even played 60 career goals and you have sold Champions League winner Pedro ‘two-goals-against-City’ Mendes to Pompey.
One balls-up after another. Maybe your parents should have called you Cock, instead of your brother.
I’m staggered to think we should have been 20 points clear off 5th spot, yet your naïve tactics and poor motivation has ruined any chance of success. Next season, with Arsenal, Bolton and Rovers improving further, it will make claiming a 4th place in the league nigh impossible.
I expect the summer to be full of transfers.
Defoe to Liverpool.
Carrick to Utd.
Mido back to Roma.
King to Ashburton.
Even though these players are over-rated, its still half a team you are going to lose and I'm sure you will waste the money on signing more players who are not good enough.
All because you can’t work out how to win games that we are supposed to win. You are technically as bad as our previous managers.
We never attack with pace. We never have shots on goal. And we don’t seem to be capable of killing games off with some time-wasting (ball in corner and subs in last minute).
All this says one thing to me: You don’t have a clue.
We have no winners in the team. No one who has that never-say-die mentality or that self-belief in themselves and in 4th place.
Compare this to previous years.
With so many England internationals in the side, we should be 3rd at the very least, and yet you are driving us towards the bottom half of the mid-table.
I firmly believe this team could match, for 90 minutes, the Brazil side of the 70’s, and because of modern day fitness, we could probably beat them (though it would take extra-time to do so).
But with you in charge, I’m positive that would not happen. Instead, in the 91st minute, Pele claims the ball from Stalteri, who doesn’t clear it out and he slides the ball to Jairzinho, who dummies, and allows the incoming Carlos Alberto to flick the ball up in the air and header it to Rivelino who jinxs between King and Dawson before passing the ball to Pele who has taken a position at the far corner. Pele, controls the ball with his chest, allowing it to drop down to his left foot. He moves the ball to his right foot, nutmegs Robinson three times before stopping the ball dead on the goal line. Felix is there to knock the ball in with a deft touch with his chin.
Everyone is gutted. Except for Dawson who is smiling.
Another last minute defeat for Tottenham. A defeat that I simply cannot forgive you for.
You have been at the club for a couple of seasons and I see no progress. We are not impatient and over-demanding and we are not fickle. It’s a fact that your job is a comfortable one and you should be able to please us with relative ease. And yet you cant even qualify us for the Champions League.
You allow the likes for Jose, Arsene and Alex to overshadow you. Compare what they have achieved to what you have and this is further proof of your incompetence.
Congratulations Martin. There use to be a football club here.
But maybe I mis-understand you. Maybe the truth is deep down, aiming for success is better than the actual success itself. And your masterplan is to keep us in a perpetual transitional period.
Because, lets face it, winning too much will lead us to being spoilt. And thus, Champs League would be a disaster for the club.
It would lead to extra revenue, world class players signing, 45000 ground capacity and thus the arrival of fairweather/glory hunting fans. The Park Lane end will be full of sit-down prawn sandwich eaters and people who dont know who Bill Nicholson is. John Obi Mikel will want to sign for us. Huge sponsership. Our own tv channel (Sky Sports). Lack of atmosphere will follow and with silverware after silverware, the club will degenerate into a laughing stock.
So, in conclusion, either way, we end up unhappy.
Its akin to killing someone, using voodoo to bring them back to life, and then burying them alive.
No matter what, our hopes and dreams live in a bodybag being carried by you. Martin Jol, the Grim Reaper of the Lane.
I wish I was born in Woolwich.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
read that about 10 minutes ago and im still laughing
.
Last edited:
