John Lewis penguin christmas advert
The secret message behind the new John Lewis ‘Monty the Penguin’ Christmas advert is that it’s never OK to ship someone in a box so you can have sex with them, even if you’re really horny.
The prime-time advert shows a young child with a horny penguin desperate to get laid, whose family procure him a female to have sex with, and ship it to him in a box.
A spokesperson for John Lewis explained, “We take the plight of sex trafficking extremely seriously, and what better way to highlight that than by the use of a subversive Christmas advert that people will share all over the place.”
“Essentially the advert is the tale of someone who is incredibly socially awkward – the penguin – who cannot find a partner to have sex with them.”
“Ultimately he relies on his network to buy him someone to have sex with, and they ship her across to him in a box – though we don’t know where from, and he doesn’t care in the slightest.”
“I don’t think I need to really join the dots for you here do I?”
“Of course, it’s Christmas, so we couldn’t just use a truck driver and an eastern european prostitute in a shipping container, but the message is essentially the same.”
“Sex trafficking is bad.”
“Now, I know we’ve made it look like there’s a happy ending, but that’s just for the Advertising Standards Agency.”
“The first draft actually had the female penguin crying her eyes out before being drugged to the eyeballs by the kid – who is the pimp in this story, obviously.”
“But they didn’t like that, so we made it a bit more Christmassy.”
“We hope you like it.”
The secret message behind the new John Lewis ‘Monty the Penguin’ Christmas advert is that it’s never OK to ship someone in a box so you can have sex with them, even if you’re really horny.
The prime-time advert shows a young child with a horny penguin desperate to get laid, whose family procure him a female to have sex with, and ship it to him in a box.
A spokesperson for John Lewis explained, “We take the plight of sex trafficking extremely seriously, and what better way to highlight that than by the use of a subversive Christmas advert that people will share all over the place.”
“Essentially the advert is the tale of someone who is incredibly socially awkward – the penguin – who cannot find a partner to have sex with them.”
“Ultimately he relies on his network to buy him someone to have sex with, and they ship her across to him in a box – though we don’t know where from, and he doesn’t care in the slightest.”
“I don’t think I need to really join the dots for you here do I?”
“Of course, it’s Christmas, so we couldn’t just use a truck driver and an eastern european prostitute in a shipping container, but the message is essentially the same.”
“Sex trafficking is bad.”
“Now, I know we’ve made it look like there’s a happy ending, but that’s just for the Advertising Standards Agency.”
“The first draft actually had the female penguin crying her eyes out before being drugged to the eyeballs by the kid – who is the pimp in this story, obviously.”
“But they didn’t like that, so we made it a bit more Christmassy.”
“We hope you like it.”
