gazzas
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- Joined
- Mar 5, 2005
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Hurricane report
A major Cat 3 Hurricane (Jada ) hit in the early hours of Friday -
Epicentre: Paisley - Scotland
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "Whit DA-F*CK
wiz at "
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of
damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and
Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic Burnt Out Cars were disturbed.
Many locals were woken well before their giros were due to arrive.
Clyde FM Radio Station reported that hundreds of residents were
confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact
that something interesting had happened in Paisley apart from the local
punch up's at closing time or early morning drug raids!
One resident - Tracy-Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It
was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my
bedroom crying "What Da-F*ck was that - and why is uncle Jim in your
bed ? ".
My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Henrick-Gerrard slept through it all.
I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning, and
mustav smoked 60 Lambert an Butlers"
Apparently though, looting, muggings, spraying graffiti and car crime
were all able to carry on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Pound
Stretchers Kola+ Chips and gravy to the area to help the stricken
locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found
large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books,
jewellery from Argos plus a large range of items from Poundstore
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
sought after, items most needed include:
FILA or Burberry baseball caps
* Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
* Shell suits (female)
* White sport socks
*Any Garments by Donnay
* Any other items usually sold in Matalan
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks and slush puppys for a
family of 9
£5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of
those affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl alive in the rubble who turned out to be
smothered in blood
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked -
"Foxbar" said the girl, " But what the F*ck huz at gotta dae wiv you?"
A major Cat 3 Hurricane (Jada ) hit in the early hours of Friday -
Epicentre: Paisley - Scotland
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "Whit DA-F*CK
wiz at "
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of
damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and
Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic Burnt Out Cars were disturbed.
Many locals were woken well before their giros were due to arrive.
Clyde FM Radio Station reported that hundreds of residents were
confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact
that something interesting had happened in Paisley apart from the local
punch up's at closing time or early morning drug raids!
One resident - Tracy-Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It
was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my
bedroom crying "What Da-F*ck was that - and why is uncle Jim in your
bed ? ".
My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Henrick-Gerrard slept through it all.
I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning, and
mustav smoked 60 Lambert an Butlers"
Apparently though, looting, muggings, spraying graffiti and car crime
were all able to carry on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Pound
Stretchers Kola+ Chips and gravy to the area to help the stricken
locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found
large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books,
jewellery from Argos plus a large range of items from Poundstore
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
sought after, items most needed include:
FILA or Burberry baseball caps
* Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
* Shell suits (female)
* White sport socks
*Any Garments by Donnay
* Any other items usually sold in Matalan
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks and slush puppys for a
family of 9
£5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of
those affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl alive in the rubble who turned out to be
smothered in blood
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked -
"Foxbar" said the girl, " But what the F*ck huz at gotta dae wiv you?"
