Friday Quickies

BRIAN1956

DW Joke King
Joined
Oct 3, 2007
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]Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.

Two guards bring the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts,

"Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts,

"Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"

Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did.

The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye.

It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

BROTHEL AND ESCORT AGENCY

10 MILES


He thinks it was a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought.

Soon, he sees another sign which says:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

BROTHEL AND ESCORT AGENCY

5 MILES


Suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real.

Then he drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

ESCORT AGENCY

<< NEXT RIGHT


His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive.

On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a Small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell.

The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks,

"What may we do for you, my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."

"Very well, my son. Please follow me."

He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented.

The nun stops at a closed door, smiles, and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup.

This nun instructs,

"Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway."

He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup.

He trots eagerly down the hall , smiling and then slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.

As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:

GO IN PEACE

YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED

BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

SERVES YOU RIGHT!
 
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