Blonde jokes

cloud9

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A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind that you should know five things:
1- The bartender is a blonde girl.
2- The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3- I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4- The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter.
5- The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah.
Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times".
 

cloud9

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Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane, energy-efficient kind.

But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them.

Boy oh boy, did we go around!

Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me, that in one year the windows would pay for themselves.

There was silence on the other end, so I just hung up, and I haven't heard back from him.


Guess I won that stupid argument.
 

notmeatall3

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Two blonds walking in a forest when they see a set of tracks on the ground.

The 1st blond says "You see them they're are Rabbit tracks, they are."

The 2nd blond says "No they're not they are deer tracks."

They were still argueing an hour later when they got hit by the train.
 
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