A few quickies

stewartthemole

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Scientists have found that many women develop "Hoovers Disease" after a year of marriage.They make a continuous whining noise but dont suck anymore.



Thought for the day...........................

Who picks up a guide dogs shite?



Dad with little girl in garden asks "Is that a mummy-longlegs underneath that daddy-longlegs?" Dad say "No sweetie, there are no mummy-longlegs, only daddy longlegs." Dad felt very proud of her inquisitive mind until she stamps on em both sayin "We'll have none of that gay shit in our garden!"





Why is a fanny like a shed roof? Cause if you don't nail it hard enough it ends up next door.





Little jimmy was admitted to hospital today with 6 toy horses lodged up his arse. Doctors have described his condition as stable...





Jimmy's girlfriend got a new tattoo, a seashell on the top of her inner thigh. Jimmy thinks its brill coz if u put your ear 2 it u can actually smell the sea.







Paddy tells Mick he's thinkin of buying a labrador. **** that say's Mick. "have you seen how many of their owners go blind"
 
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