Teacher, Boy and Principal
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was
having trouble with one of her students the teacher
asked,"Boy. what is your problem?" Boy answered, "I'm
too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I
should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the principal's
office. While the boy waited in the outer office, the
teacher explained to the principal what the situation
was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the
boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
behave. She agreed.
Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal
thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks
at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the
third-grade."
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my
own questions. Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy
both agreed.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I
have only two of?
Boy: Legs.
Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I
do not have?"
Boy: Pockets.
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is
hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish
liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out
soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman
does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of
questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me
down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me
when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and
took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I
drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I
come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K'
that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K'
& if you don't get it you have to use ur hand.
Boy: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's
longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't
use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're
married?
Boy: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has
muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is
responsible for making love ?
Boy: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to
the teacher, "Send this Boy to IIM , I got
the last ten questions wrong myself!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Honey, you know I'm a virgin The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mommy Test I was out walking with my 4 year old son. He picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in his mouth. I took
the item away from him and I asked him not to do that. "Why?" my son
asked. "Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been,
it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my son looked at me with total admiration and asked,
"Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart."
I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy
Test.
You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." we walked along
in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but he was evidently pondering this new
information.
"OH...I get it!" he beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to
be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
To Be Six Again A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking
at herself in the mirror.
> >
> > Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have
for her Birthday.
> >
> >
> > "I'd like to be six again," she replied, still looking in the
mirror.
> >
> >
> > On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big
bowl of Lucky Charms,
> >
> > and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!
> >
> >
> > He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of
Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.
> >
> >
> > Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was
reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
> >
> >
> > He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal
with extra fries and a
> >
> > chocolate shake.
> >
> >
> > Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite
candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her
husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big
smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again??"
> >
> >
> >
> > Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant
my dress size, you idiot !"
> >
> >
> > The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get
it wrong.
ENJOY!!!
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was
having trouble with one of her students the teacher
asked,"Boy. what is your problem?" Boy answered, "I'm
too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I
should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the principal's
office. While the boy waited in the outer office, the
teacher explained to the principal what the situation
was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the
boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
behave. She agreed.
Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal
thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks
at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the
third-grade."
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my
own questions. Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy
both agreed.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I
have only two of?
Boy: Legs.
Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I
do not have?"
Boy: Pockets.
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is
hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish
liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out
soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman
does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of
questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me
down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me
when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and
took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I
drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I
come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K'
that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K'
& if you don't get it you have to use ur hand.
Boy: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's
longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't
use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're
married?
Boy: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has
muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is
responsible for making love ?
Boy: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to
the teacher, "Send this Boy to IIM , I got
the last ten questions wrong myself!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Honey, you know I'm a virgin The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mommy Test I was out walking with my 4 year old son. He picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in his mouth. I took
the item away from him and I asked him not to do that. "Why?" my son
asked. "Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been,
it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my son looked at me with total admiration and asked,
"Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart."
I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy
Test.
You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." we walked along
in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but he was evidently pondering this new
information.
"OH...I get it!" he beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to
be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
To Be Six Again A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking
at herself in the mirror.
> >
> > Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have
for her Birthday.
> >
> >
> > "I'd like to be six again," she replied, still looking in the
mirror.
> >
> >
> > On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big
bowl of Lucky Charms,
> >
> > and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!
> >
> >
> > He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of
Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.
> >
> >
> > Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was
reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
> >
> >
> > He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal
with extra fries and a
> >
> > chocolate shake.
> >
> >
> > Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite
candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her
husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big
smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again??"
> >
> >
> >
> > Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant
my dress size, you idiot !"
> >
> >
> > The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get
it wrong.
ENJOY!!!
