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Gud on ya m8 :silly:

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where the hell she is. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. I joined a health club last year, spent about £400 and I Haven't lost a pound...

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period? A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble. Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear? A: Both are hot, both look better while...

My neighbour found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the Veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears. So he cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she...

Late last Saturday night, a young chap was walking home from the pub. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin...

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy! :licka:

I knew a guy a few years ago called "Willie Ryder" :silly:

I've got my first Gamblers Anonymous meeting tomorrow. I rang them today to check the time. It's at fookin ten to one. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I nearly bought an origami belt the other day. But then I realised it would just be a waist of paper. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I've...

A large two engined train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down. "No problem," the engineer thought, and carried on at half power. Farther on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The...

Scientists have revealed that they have developed a new drug for depressed lesbians - it's called TRYDIXAGAIN. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ During a particularly dry summer, a chemical plant bursts into flames and the alarm goes out to all available fire departments. Twenty engines duly arrive...

Good 'uns there....thanks m8 :Bounce:

Condom slogans... 1. Cover your stump before you hump. 2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker. 3. Don't be silly, protect your willy. 4. When in doubt, shroud your spout. 5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner. 6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong. 7. If...

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. 'Come now,' coaxed the doctor, 'you've been seeing me for years! There's nothing you can't tell me.' 'This one's kind of strange...' 'Let me be the judge of that,’ Thee doctor replied. 'Well,' she said...

Lollers :Biggrin2:

That was one of the best Spurs teams ever....great to watch :Bounce:

Aaaahh ha ha ha....Mad me spit me tea all over me keyboard:Clap:

Or a Prawn again Crustacean :Biggrin2:

Ah the poor Sasanach :puke:

These classified ads. were really put in the paper - a smile for your day FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog. FREE PUPPIES. Mother, A Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father, Super...

A Priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to students. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach...