The French

[Sandra51]

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." Unamed U.S. Senator ------------------------------ "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." David Letterman ------------------------------ "Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada." Ted Nugent ------------------------------ "War without France would be like World War II." Unknown ------------------------------ "The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says 'First Iraq , then France '.'' Tom Brokaw ------------------------------ "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?" Dennis Miller ------------------------------ "It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us." Alan Kent ----------------------------- "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." Argus Hamilton ------------------------------ "Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day. The description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once'.'' Rep. Roy Blunt, MO ----------------------------- "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq ." Dennis Miller ------------------------------ Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII? A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur? ----------------------------- "Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris ? It's not known, it's never been tried." Rep. R. Blount, MO ------------------------------ "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining!" John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv ------------------------------ French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney (AP), Paris , March 5, 2003 The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris which caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists! Not new, but still worth another read. JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when De Gaulle decided to pull out of NATO. De Gaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible. Rusk responded; "Does that include those who are buried here?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE... Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. "You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The Englishman said, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. You English always have to show your passports on arrival in France !" The English senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ''Well, when I came ashore at Gold Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to."​