the idiots among us

Not sure if any are true ,but funny anyway.


IDIOT SIGHTING No.1
My daughter and I went to the McDonald's checkout to pay our bill and I gave the clerk a £5 note.
Our total bill was £4.20, so I also handed her a 20 pence piece.
She said, 'You gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.'
She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at MacDonald's in St Albans , Hertfordshire.!!

IDIOT SIGHTING No2
We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a moment, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Garador repair since.
Happened in Moor Park , near Watford .

IDIOT SIGHTING No3
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign from our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing, any-more.'
Story from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire.

IDIOT SIGHTING No 4
My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken and ordered a Taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg Lettuce.
From South Oxhey , Hertfordshire.

IDIOT SIGHTING No 5
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened at Luton Airport

IDIOT SIGHTING No 6
The traffic light on the corner buzzes when the lights turn red and it is safe to cross the road. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a Local County Council employee in St Albans ,
Hertfordshire. (And she's NOT blonde)

IDIOT SIGHTING No7
When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the Driver's door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door-handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'it's open!'
His reply: 'I know. I already did that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans , Hertfordshire.

STAY ALERT!
They walk among us.
AND THEY BREED!

Idiot sighting
Posted by Pete on 9/30/2009

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IDIOT SIGHTING_1:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two....
We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING_2:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS

IDIOT SIGHTING_3:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..
Do not confuse the clerks at McDonald's.

IDIOT SIGHTING_4 :
I live in a semi rural area... We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!' I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman , KS .

IDIOT SIGHTING_5 IN FOOD SERVICE :
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco... She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING_6:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING _7:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING _8:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING _9:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING_10:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS

l have a trainee working for me and we used to repair a car for a blind dog trainer , he would come in with the dogs and so on , after about his 3rd visit the lad turned to me and said its amazing what these dogs can do helping this guy driver here every time he needs a job doing

@Manic its hard to believe we have these idiots on two continents

many many years ago we had vhs with a remote that was wired to the recorder lol . anyway my brother said the remote isnt working , l had a look and unplugged it and plugged back in and still not workin , then my brother said l know what it is theres a knot in the cable ? l laughed and said you idiot its nothing to do with that ,,

he undid the knot why l was laughing , fook me if it didnt start working to this day he still thinks power can stop because theres a knot

Bare in mind I was a kid but at about a ten years old while watching an episode of crimewatch a reconstruction was being shown and a young rawsy turned to his mum and said "why didn't the cameraman stop him"

Don't judge I was a kid lol

Similar but not a backward statement but a weird one;-

When I was about 11 years old I had to be in for my tea on time. I didn't know the time was and the only person to ask was this guy walking towards me.

He was what I can only describe as a true English gent. He was well over 6ft tall, about in his 50's, grey dapper pristine looking suit, waist coat, trilby, briefcase and a wooden handle brolly.
I stops him and says, "Excuse me Mister have you got the time please ?", He looked down at me and said "Oh yes young man" and proceeded to hook his brolly over his arm and pulled the cuff back on his shirt.

He looked at his wrist which was watchless, studied his invisible watch for a second then said , "Ahh yes, It has just gone quarter fat dick", pulled the cuff down, straight faced and walked off.

From that day till now, whenever anyone asked me the time I just can't help myself , they get the same reply

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


Love this one.I got tears streaming down my face.:Laugh::Laugh: