I keep seeing "wife" jokes, they make me giggle even though perhaps they shouldn't.
Feel free to add more
The wife asked me the other day if I'd ever slept with a munter. Said it with a straight face too....
I asked my Mrs. "What's your favourite Rod Stewart song?" "I don't want to talk about it" she said, so I changed the subject.
Our marriage is very psychological - she's psycho and I'm logical.
I was eventually served my dinner by the wife. She said 'sorry for the wait'. I said 'never mind I'm sure you'll lose it soon.'
I met my wife on holiday. I said "what on earth are you doing here?"
When I first got married her father promised me 50 acres and a cow. I never did get those 50 acres....
My wife reckons I drink too much whisky, which came as a bit of a shock - I didn't even realise I had a wife!
Wife asked me 'What's on the telly?' Apparently 'Dust' was not an appropriate answer.
Me: "I think I'm going to divorce my wife, she hasn't spoken to me in six months". Mate: "You might want to think about that, wives like that are hard to come by".
The wife said she was feeling light-headed from a low iron level. To help her, I raised the ironing board to a more suitable height.
Back in the seventies I had a goblin teasmade in the bedroom. Now she just snores and farts.
My wife has lost her voice! Oh, wait........ she was just yawning.
Feel free to add more
The wife asked me the other day if I'd ever slept with a munter. Said it with a straight face too....
I asked my Mrs. "What's your favourite Rod Stewart song?" "I don't want to talk about it" she said, so I changed the subject.
Our marriage is very psychological - she's psycho and I'm logical.
I was eventually served my dinner by the wife. She said 'sorry for the wait'. I said 'never mind I'm sure you'll lose it soon.'
I met my wife on holiday. I said "what on earth are you doing here?"
When I first got married her father promised me 50 acres and a cow. I never did get those 50 acres....
My wife reckons I drink too much whisky, which came as a bit of a shock - I didn't even realise I had a wife!
Wife asked me 'What's on the telly?' Apparently 'Dust' was not an appropriate answer.
Me: "I think I'm going to divorce my wife, she hasn't spoken to me in six months". Mate: "You might want to think about that, wives like that are hard to come by".
The wife said she was feeling light-headed from a low iron level. To help her, I raised the ironing board to a more suitable height.
Back in the seventies I had a goblin teasmade in the bedroom. Now she just snores and farts.
My wife has lost her voice! Oh, wait........ she was just yawning.
