Sensible Topic Depression?

[Him Her]

I had to post again ...
Only my family who obviously know me well, can verify that i never talk about it.
Firstly,as i said earlier i bottle it up...

Secondly and most important to me above all else is that i firmly believe we only have one life and i'm not going to ruin it for my partner.
I encourage my wife to fit as much into life as she can... thats what makes me feel better..

The only crisis i ever had was when i had an heart attack, i knew the ambulance was coming and i knew they'd want me to go outside.
It took hours to convince me to go to Hospital.

Have to cut this short... teas ready..
Hope i'm not rambling on again lol

Nope, not rambling, could be helping someone

 

[AJT]

I agree with Him Her..glad you took the time to post mate.

 

[peterjo]

TLDR but vitamin D3 and 5-HTP are good coming into the long winter nights. Regular exercise and good diet are factors too.

 

[Trabbs]

I had to post again ...
Only my family who obviously know me well, can verify that i never talk about it.
Firstly,as i said earlier i bottle it up...

Secondly and most important to me above all else is that i firmly believe we only have one life and i'm not going to ruin it for my partner.
I encourage my wife to fit as much into life as she can... thats what makes me feel better..

The only crisis i ever had was when i had an heart attack, i knew the ambulance was coming and i knew they'd want me to go outside.
It took hours to convince me to go to Hospital.

Have to cut this short... teas ready..
Hope i'm not rambling on again lol

I think one of the benefits of this forum is it gives an opportunity for. people to say things in a way that hopefully people will not be judgemental about. Often, just having said something, albeit to people who don't really know you,is a release in itself. It's not rambling, it's actually very brave to open up like you have and you have my utmost respect.

 

[Rat]

Someone just posted this on Facebook, thought it reflected quite well

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[mapman]

their is a read dbt this could help but the main problem is root,if its deep you will need big help.
i think 78% of people do have ,most will not admit ,to ask for help is not a shame,its a start to be better,i know tons of people my wife is one of them ,i feel usless because i didnt understand,still dont but im there for her and anyone who needs an ear,its not just women who have this problem,help is there but you DO need to fight for it.thats the sad bit
FIND A BOOK ON
D-B-T

 

[drew1970]

ive suffered it for years in and out hospital on so many drugs i rattle . its not just me that suffers though my family suffer with me. the snap out of it makes me want to snap the person saying its neck . no books or video is going to help when you hit low its uncontrollable and the highs can be scary for everyone else around you . but then when your on a high you start to worry about the low coming back . the panic attacks the worthless feeling is crushing feeling is something id wish on no-one (him her) i hope it gets better for you. its not a life choice and we have no control over it the medication sometimes turns us in to zombies feeling nothing . sometimes death seems like it would be a relief . ( sorry i know its a heavy post ) but some people dont understand what goes through minds of people with depression . good luck my friend ...( CB)

 

[D 8 RCS]

Some good points made by Drew1970, I used to be of the opinion of the "Snap out of it !" brigade and just thought "Get on with it for god's sake !" as I had always managed to cope with whatever was thrown at me, and had certainly had much more to worry about than many of those I knew or had heard about who suffered depression.
Then it happened !!
I became a victim to it, and I struggled to even admit it...............Why can't I "Snap out of it" ? Why can't I just get on with it ?
I just didn't know why, and I still don't know why.
But, the hole I had slipped into had the sheerest sides you could imagine and there was certainly no "light at the end of the tunnel" it is one of the worst if not the worst feelings in the world.
I would never of believed I could become a victim to Depression and Anxiety..........But I did !
I am lucky, I have a wonderful wife and family who have stuck by me and supported me, put up with my lows and suffered my reactions, but still been there for me.
I've had treatments, I'm still having treatment, I may never be free of it, but I am trying to cope with it, to live with it, to try and turn the negatives into positives. Sometimes it's easy........Other times.............
Can I go on ?
As Drew1970 said "some people don't understand what goes through the minds of people with depression" nor do they realise the severity of it.
It really is one of those "You don't know what it's like until you've been there" situations in life.
You don't have to understand !! But please, accept that it is for real and that it can be very debilitating.

 

[trevortron]

I may have mentioned earlier the the O/H is suffering from anxiety and panic attacks ATM, has been for the past couple of years and, as you correctly say @drew1970 it's not a life choice- you cannot 'snap out of it'. You may think you can- it might even appear to work for a while, but if it's there it'll catch up with you eventually- possibly with interest. And again, like @D 8 RCS, this is someone who you would never imagine would have suffered from something like this. I guess years of covering it up have finally taken their toll.
But we all have different ways of dealing with stuff. I myself have been in some pretty 'dark places' in the past. I am fortunate that my natural optimism has carried me through (I think) but again, as @drew1970 says, it can take the shine off the 'good times', knowing they won't last. I am also fully aware that 'crunch day' might come along one day, if and when it does I hope I (and those around me) will be able to deal with it.

 

[mapman]

no if you have bpd or another,somtimes people saying somthing nice is enough to make life bad,
i my self would rather give a hand up rather than putting you down.
i think people who do talk about their probs are great my hat always tips to you.
my best man had a problem he would just keep all to himself and he ended up in hospital,he didnt know who he was,i felt like sh.t because i mised it i should have seen it,my wife has bpd and its no joke so if you do have a problem ,talk about it,you will not get put down in here,D/W FOREVER
RESPECTS TO ALL.

 

[ukbob]

Interesting UKbob u say u deal with by bottling up. Really shows is a personnel choice.

this is a difficult subject and a minefield really. I have since spoken to my parents more in the last 10 years than the first 30. (had no choice as can't hide on a hospital bed).
i knew from my teens I did not want to be in this world and today I still don't, I also know the suffering and pain it puts ones family through so battle every day to not go to those dark places,

for me it is talking, thay saves me and gives me courage. I don't care these days who knows I look at it as I am ill and that's all. I am not on medication though have had years on it.

I also know my triggers and try not to get into those situation, but obviously impossible as some are driven by others actions watch.

so everyone is different if you know any one who is depressed just be there as much as you can and don't think logically as there is no logic to it. If we could "snap out of it" we would.

i have a good life. I earn a good income as an accountant, have great kids and family so there is no logic.

Anyone who reads this and wants to talk pm me and I will give you 100% confidential support be it mail or calling u.

Everyday is a battle but have courage to fight on.

The phrase "take one day at a time" might be overused,but you don't know what tomorrow may bring....

last week i was awake for 6 days solid..not one minutes sleep, but i felt great since then.

So much so that i've bought some biker boots gloves jacket and helmet,with the hope that i'll still be feeling good for my automatic scooter cbt test which i hope to take in 6 months.

Things do change matey...hang in there....

 

[trevortron]

The phrase "take one day at a time" might be overused,but you don't know what tomorrow may bring....

last week i was awake for 6 days solid..not one minutes sleep, but i felt great since then.

So much so that i've bought some biker boots gloves jacket and helmet,with the hope that i'll still be feeling good for my automatic scooter cbt test which i hope to take in 6 months.

Things do change matey...hang in there....

You are correct my friend, things do change.
My other half was in a really bad place about 7 years ago. I think everything had stacked up over the years and it all came to a head over the simplest of things (family). Since then it has been a daily battle for both of us but purely by chance we happened upon an excellent psychotherapist who, with very little intervention, pointed us in the right direct and things have improved immeasurably in the 9 months or so since we met her.
She actually reminded me of the Wizard of Oz in a roundabout sort of way, by pointing out that we already have the tools to help ourselves, we just need to be shown how to use them.
And I say "we" for two reasons: First, when your partner is affected, so are you. It can be hard for the 'other half', especially if the condition is not fully understood. I have learned a lot over the past few years. And now, knowing the signs, I'm sure I have had a touch of it too from time to time, just not as severely.

Good luck with the CBT @ukbob you'll sail through!

 

[bilabonic]

I've been there mate and it's NOTHING to be ashamed of, i tell anyone and everyone!!

It crept up on me, both anxiety and depression.

I could feel my heart beating/thumping out of my chest, sweats all the time, in meetings it felt as is i was not in the room and i was just keeping under control....I then had a MASSIVE panic attack just whilst walking to a breakdown i work...

I thought there was something physically wrong with me, as o thought it could NEVER affect me! I was running/cycling/swimming/walking/takig multi vits, natural anti-depressants etc...NOTHING worked..

Then i found the answer -DRINK, it got rid of the anxiety and i felt happier, 4 cans a night, then 8 cans, then a flagon then two....For over a year

I was the getting MUCH worse as you can imagine, first thing from work and straight to nearest shop buy a flagon and neck back a bit to feel 'normal'

To cut a long story short basically i never turned up for work, locked myself in the house and was found a week later by a family member in hell of a mess (who was lickily a MH worker)..

Straight to Dr's, the direst to MH unit, diagnosed with severe depression/bipolar, given meds and 3 months off work.

I tried loads until i found what worked (give ANY med 6 weeks at LEAST)...

I also spent a 2 weeks in private rehab in between this.

I am now FINE after finding what meds work for me, it's a long journey and i look back and think WHY did i let it go on for so long!!!

Get down the Dr's and have a chat and go from there mate..

Good luck and ANY questions feel free to inbox me..

 

[silverdale]

I think social media, life pressure to achieve, drugs all add to a rise in depression. I'm not saying these are the sole causes but they do contribute to a gradual rise mental health.
Social media is probably one of the biggest reasons for the rise in suicide in today's kids.

 

[mapman]

life is to short to worry about what is coming live for the day,don't deal with social media take a break from everything get a tent get some food and take time out,you will feel better a slow pace of life will make things real,live for today as tomorrow you die.or a better way ,live for a slow life run a mile is the same as walking a mile no need to run take your time see the view.
don't talk listen
stay away from all media news ,
take a break from life grab the tent go missing for a week.

 

[chookey]

take a break from life grab the tent go missing for a week.

Good advice for stress. Terrible advice for depression